


When The Red Rain Falls

by Katnpc



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Child Abuse, Dark, Fluff and Angst, Implied or Off-stage Rape/Non-con, M/M, Murder, Serial Killers, Underage Character, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-04
Updated: 2013-05-15
Packaged: 2017-12-10 09:29:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/784507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katnpc/pseuds/Katnpc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel was barely five when he ran away and was thrown into a harsh cold world. But after years of aimless wandering, he meets a young boy like himself and find his salvation in Dean Winchester. They go through the years together, growing up while holding each other, learning from each other, teaching each other and even killing together to satisfy their ever growing needs.</p><p>But Castiel fears that this is more happiness than he deserved and that one day Dean would turn away from him and abandon him like everyone has before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1 - 8

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer:
> 
> All characters appearing in this story are copyright CW/Supernatural. No infringement of these copyrights is intended, and is not authorized by the copyright holder. I do not make a profit out of this fanfiction.
> 
> Warnings:
> 
> There are some child abuse at the start and animal cruelty later on. There's some underaged sex - not explicit. Most of the chapters are about underaged Dean and Castiel. 
> 
>  
> 
> Usual rambling:
> 
> Not my best so far... but anyway, Sam shows up later in the story.
> 
> Thanks for reading and thanks in advance for any feedback!

**Chapter 1**

 

Castiel never knew why he was left in a dumpster when he was barely one. He often wondered who his real parents were and why they didn’t want him. Was he really a bad boy? He had been put in foster care since then, and at the tender age of five, he was sent to an old couple’s home. And it quickly became hell.

 

“You fucking little bitch! I told you to clean that shit, didn’t I?” the old man screamed, kicking Castiel in the stomach where he laid on his side.

 

Castiel didn’t say anything. He took the hits and didn’t allow himself to scream because if he did then the kicks would just worsen. He really wanted to yell back, to hit back, to defend himself but he was too weak and too small to fight back. He knew that. And crying wasn’t going to help but he couldn’t hold back the tears that overflowed from the pain. So he cried in silence and took the hits because he deserved it. He hadn’t cleaned the toilet properly like the old man had told him. He had been too short to reach the high tank and hadn’t even thought there would be dust up there.

 

“Oh, my, what happened?” the old lady asked as she came to investigate the noise.

 

“Little shit is useless, that’s what!” the old man raged.

 

The old woman sighed and gave Castiel a disappointed look, “I guess you won’t be having dinner tonight either.” She pulled him up and he felt all his ribs scream in pain but he kept his mouth shut. “Come with me,” she said as she dragged him away and Castiel knew what was coming. She threw him into the small dark room with no window and no light. “Stay put,” she ordered and closed the door.

 

Castiel sat on his ass and pulled his legs into a hug. He had been in this little prison so many times he knew it was useless to bang on the door, to try to pry it open or to look around for another exit. It was a small portion of hell just for him when he was bad and there was no escape.

 

A day later, the door finally opened but Castiel was too weak from hunger and pain to even bother looking up. He shut his eyes to keep away the glare of the light.

 

“Get up, you little shit,” the old man snarled.

 

Castiel got up slowly, knowing that if he didn’t he would be beaten up again and the old man grabbed his tiny arms and dragged him to the basement. And Castiel’s eyes widened. He suddenly struggled, trying to pull away from the tight grip, refusing to go anywhere near that basement because he knew what it meant. The beating, the starvation, those he could take but not what happened in the basement. The old man only brought him there when the old lady wasn’t here to interrupt so there was no one to stop him. Castiel started crying and choking as he screamed to be released.

 

“Shut the fuck up!” the old man grunted and threw Cas down the stairs.

 

His tiny body hit the first step of the stairs before he tumbled down the rest of them. He hit firm ground a second later, his previous bruises protesting and screaming at the abuse. He stayed there, motionless, his cries slowing down as he resigned himself to the hell he had been thrown into.

 

 

 

Castiel woke up some time later, in the little room that was where he usually slept when he wasn’t being punished. It had a small tall window that Castiel couldn’t reach and a smelly moldy bed against the wall. He climbed onto the bed and sighed at the little comfort the softer material gave his burning bruises. He remembered the previous home, where he was given a better bed, more regular meals and there was no punishment. He had liked it there but he had noticed the glances the adults would give him, like he was crazy or not normal. He really wasn’t like other kids – that much he knew. He didn’t speak, didn’t play, didn’t do much but sit in his corner. The adults didn’t understand him and he didn’t want to explain. He didn’t like other people. He didn’t like the way they looked at him or they way they talked. He didn’t like the way they smelled or the way they walked. He wanted them to stay away and when they wouldn’t, he would.

 

And then one day he was sent away and into this hell. It was punishment because he wasn’t a normal boy. This was where bad boys were sent to be punished and he had to bear with it because he deserved it. But even if he was only five, he knew that the things that the old man did to him in the basement should never happen. It was obscene, it was wrong. Why else would he keep it from the old lady?

 

Castiel looked up at the window and thought how great it would be to be able to fly like the birds. He would then escape through that tiny window, spread his wings and fly. That night he dreamt of a better life, where he was free to fly wherever he wanted and people wouldn’t lock him up or scream at him, or beat him when he was bad, and he woke up with a rare smile on his face. But he forgot the smile or the dream when his door burst open to an angry old lady. He scrambled to his feet and tried to keep out of reach of the woman but he trapped himself in a corner and she backslapped him. The bony hand hit him across the face, sending sparks in his head. He lost his balance and fell only to be hit again.

 

“You little bitch! You did this! You tempted him to do those things!” she screamed as she kicked him over and over.

 

And Castiel wondered what she was talking about. What could he have done wrong this time? But all thoughts disappeared when she kicked him in the face, sending his head backwards and pain radiating from his nose, which started bleeding. He held back the tears that he knew were there anyway, and he tried to remember the birds and the window. He tried to think of the last meal he had and how it had felt so good in his empty belly. He tried and tried to think of anything that was good, and just forget the blows to his already broken body. His vision blurred at some point and he gratefully went into that darkness as he closed his eyes and lost consciousness.

Castiel woke up where he had been beaten the last time. His body did the usual screaming and protesting as he got up to his feet. The door was closed and the house was quiet. He looked up at the small window and saw a tiny bird there, sitting by the sill. It called out to his friends and another tiny bird came to join it, then all of a sudden, they flew off together.

 

He limped to the window but he really was too short. He glanced at the closed door and hesitated for a moment. He was not allowed to move freely in the house and even if sometimes his door wasn’t locked, he still wasn’t allowed to go out unless one of them told him to. But he tried the doorknob anyway and he gasped when it opened. He peeked outside, and to his relief, there was no one. He couldn’t risk going out of his room and through the hallway. They would find him and then they would do terrible things to him again. So instead he looked around and brightened when he saw the small decorative table against the wall. He tiptoed to it, put the vase that was on it down and lifted the table. It was heavy for his small body and it would be so much easier to pull but it would make too much noise and Castiel wasn’t sure if the old people were here or not. So instead, he lifted and moved the table one small step at a time.

 

When it was finally where he wanted it, Castiel climbed on top and for the first time, opened his window. A gush of fresh air blew in and he paused, enjoying the feeling of freedom. Then he climbed onto the sill and sat there for a moment, looking down. It was a high fall for a little body like his but the ground below looked soft and couldn’t be worse than the other falls he had been through. So he jumped and landed on his little feet and hands. He got up quickly, took a look around and started running, ignoring the constant pain in all his limbs, or the little voice that told him that they would catch him and throw him back into that dark pit.

 

 

 

**Chapter 2**

 

 

Five years later, Castiel was now as free as he wanted. He quickly learned to steal to survive, he knew to avoid those people in uniforms and he knew how to run a scam to get food. He moved around a lot because if he stayed in the same place too long then the men in blue would come and get him and force him back to that dreadful house.

 

He would sometimes sleep in people’s backyard, when he knew they wouldn’t notice. It was warmer in the dog’s kennel, with a furry friend to share it with from time to time. Of course, he had met his fair share of angry dogs with snarling teeth and he kept away from those. Tonight, he picked a random house in the neighborhood. It looked old and dark and reminded him a little of the old house when he was five. He sneaked into the yard, checking for dogs. When nothing came at him, he made a beeline to the bin. Sometimes there were a few yummy things in them. He was rummaging through it when he felt someone watching him. He spun around, shocked and scared and saw a little boy, not much older than he was. He had a pretty face with nice green eyes and Castiel felt a little embarrassed to be this dirty while the boy was clean and looking fresh.

 

“What are you doing?” he asked.

 

“I’m leaving now. Please don’t tell anyone,” Castiel begged.

 

The little boy frowned and grabbed Castiel’s arm as he tried to leave. “Stay and play with me,” he said.

 

Castiel froze. He didn’t know how to play. He had seen others do it but he never understood how it worked. Besides, he couldn’t lose time here. The adults were probably around. “Let me go.”

 

The boy pouted but didn’t give up. “I’m Dean. What’s your name?”

 

Castiel pushed the other boy’s hand away, “I need to go.”

 

But Dean grabbed him again, pulling him closer. “My father’s not here, you don’t have to worry. Are you hungry? Do you want food? I think there’s cereal.”

 

Castiel paused and considered. The adults weren’t here and there was food and warmth inside. And Dean didn’t seem like a bad person. “Ok,” he muttered.

 

Dean grinned, and enthusiastically pulled him towards the house. “Tell me your name,” he said as they got in.

 

It had been a long time since he had been inside a house. Castiel looked around and couldn’t help but compare the house with the one he escaped from. This one was just a messy but there were no locks on the doors or dark blinds that kept the world away. “I’m Cas- Castiel,” he answered, his voice catching at the pronunciation of his name. It had been a long time since he had last said his name out loud.

 

“Wow, that’s a rare name!” Dean said. He went to the fridge and got the milk carton and the cereal.

 

“Is it?” Castiel wondered.

 

“I’ll call you Cas from now on!” Dean declared, putting the milk and cereal on the table. “Come on, eat.”

 

Castiel nodded and went to the table. He pulled himself on one of the chair and watched Dean pour the milk and cereal into a bowl and pushed it and a spoon towards him. Castiel hesitated and wondered if he was really allowed to eat. He swallowed, the smell of fresh food almost irresistible. He picked up the spoon, plunged it into the bowl, pulled it out again and tried the first taste of milk and cereal. It was sweet and slightly cold but it was the best thing he ever ate. He stuffed more into his mouth, barely chewing.

 

“Geez, you’re really hungry,” Dean noted. He was sitting across of the dirty looking boy and grinned. “I’ll get you more food,” he said as he jumped off the chair to see what else they had. His father was away for work again and he would be here alone for the next few days so his father had stocked the fridge and shelf with food before leaving. Dean grabbed the chocolate bar, one of his favorite, and offered it to the other boy.

 

Castiel stared at the candy. He knew what it was, even tasted it once a long time ago. He had tried stealing some too, but he hadn’t been successful and he learned to grab more nourishing food and more important stuffs whenever he stole.

 

“For you,” Dean insisted when Castiel just stared.

 

“Thanks,” Cas mumbled as he took it.

 

Dean watched Cas finish his food and trying the chocolate. He felt proud of himself for helping the boy and he couldn’t stop himself from thinking that Cas was like a stray that needed to be fed and bathed and taken care of. So Dean told himself that Cas was now his and that he would keep him. They would play together, eat together and sleep together.

 

 

 

A week later, Castiel was still hanging in the neighborhood. He was cleaner now, having been given a proper bath at Dean’s and he was less hungry, having been fed by Dean. He was waiting for Dean’s father to leave so he could go back to his first friend ever. Dean was fun to be around. He made Cas discover what it was like to be warm and content and Cas was grateful for that. Dean also taught him how to read whenever they had time and Cas was catching up fast. He had never thought it would be this much fun to read words and he was slowly discovering a whole new world in the books that Dean showed him.

 

“Hey Cas,” Dean said behind Cas, making him jump.

 

“Dean! You scared me,” Cas hissed. He had been watching the house and Dean had just come out of nowhere. “Is your father gone?”

 

Dean grinned, “Won’t be back for the next couple of days.” He grabbed Cas’ thin arm and pulled, “Come with me. I want to show you something.”

 

Cas followed, curious. Dean was always showing and teaching him new stuff. He took him to an abandoned house and they sneaked into the back yard.

 

“Here,” Dean said.

 

Castiel frowned at the dog that was tied by its neck. It growled at them. “A dog?” Cas asked, glancing at his friend.

 

But Dean didn’t look at him. He was staring at the dog with a glint in his eyes that Cas had never seen before. “You know, I have a brother.”

 

“Really?” Cas asked. He hadn’t known that. He had never seen him and he knew something must have happened because this was the first time Dean was talking about him and he looked kind of sad.

 

“His name is Sam and he lives far away with our mom. He’s happy there. He has a good life and I’m glad he’s the one who went with mom.” Dean paused and finally looked at Castiel. He smile a little sadly and continued, “I’m the one with the weird hobbies and mood swings so I deserve this life.” He didn’t say anything more as he grabbed a rock and hit the growling dog on the head with it. The dog whined and tried to bite but Dean hit it again before standing above it and pulling its neck into the crook of his arms and squeezing. He kept squeezing while the dog wiggled and whined. He squeezed until the dog stopped moving and even then he didn’t let go. He had done this often enough to know that it was not dead yet so he kept his grip tight and only after a few more minutes did he let it go, its body going slack and falling to the ground. Then Dean straightened and stared at Cas, wanting to know what his new friend thought of this. This was his deepest secret after all and if Cas couldn’t accept this, then he had to get rid of him too.

 

Castiel stood frozen where he was. The dog was dead and his best friend had just killed it like it was something he usually did. And Cas was impressed. He didn’t question why Dean had done it, he didn’t care. He had like the way Dean had looked all cool doing it and for some reason, he wanted to try it too as he wondered how it felt to hold that kind of power over others. All his life he had been the one in the place of that dog and if it could be the other way round, then why not?

 

“Can I try?” Cas asked in a low mutter.

 

Dean grinned, relieved that Cas had accepted this side of him. In that moment he knew that they would be the best of friends forever and nothing would be able to part them. “Sure. C’mon, let’s go find one for you. I’ll show you how to do it.”

 

Castiel nodded and followed like he always did except that this time his heart was beating loudly with excitement and he smiled for the first time because Dean had just shared his secret with him and that meant so much to him. Dean was the best thing that ever happened to him and he was going to cherish every single moment with him.

 

 

 

**Chapter 3**

 

Two years later, Cas and Dean were both twelve, and between them they had killed untold amount of animals from cats to dogs to squirrels, whatever they could get their hands on. It had been two months since Dean ran away from home to follow Cas into the world. It was Cas turned to show and teach Dean things like stealing and how and when to lay low. Dean was surprisingly good at it and between the two of them and the occasional scam, they were never hungry. They did have to sleep in the occasional dump and other weird places but they had each other for warmth and comfort and on the coldest nights, they would hug each other and sleep in each other’s arms. Cas was also the one teaching Dean how to read the more complicated books now. Dean had showed him the basics and he had kept reading and taught himself, then taught Dean whatever he learned. Cas strongly believed that they needed to be able to read to survive better and Dean agreed because, well, Cas was the brain after all.

 

Tonight they thought it was time to move on from the animals because they had to admit, it just wasn’t as fun as it used to be. They had choked the life out of them, gutted them, drowned them and tried many more ways but it was still getting boring. So they devised a plan, Dean being daring and Cas being the brain. They found the perfect victim soon enough. It was a middle-aged man who lived alone. He walked with a limp and would probably not give them too much trouble. Besides, Dean was sure that they had had enough training with animals to be able to pull this off. So they sneaked into the man house while he was sleeping and Dean held the knife above his sleeping frame. They exchanged a glance and Cas nodded. And that’s when everything went wrong.

 

The man woke up just in time to see Dean and the knife. He jumped awake, pushing Dean. Dean stumbled but caught himself and it was too late to back out now so he screamed and launched himself at the man. Cas froze for a second, afraid that Dean would get hurt.

 

The man caught Dean’s hand and the knife. He frowned at the young boy, surprised that his attacker was barely half his height. Then Cas was throwing himself at him, tackling him but not doing much damage.

 

“What the fuck!” the man yelled, pulling Cas off him easily but Dean was back on him, knife ready to strike. He nicked the man’s arm and the saw the first drops of blood. It was like a switched that made both Cas and Dean snapped. Cas bite into the hand that was holding him and the man screamed in pain. Dean took advantage of the distraction and plunged the knife into his belly. The man froze and looked down at the knife. “Shit,” he mumbled and Dean twisted the knife before pulling it out.

 

Dean and Cas watched the man go down. He was still alive and panting and Dean grinned. He handed the knife to Cas, “Your turn.”

 

Cas grinned back and took the knife. He stood above the man, thought of the old man back when he was tiny and stabbed the man several times. He lost count, and kept pushing the knife into the bloody mess. It felt good, so much better than doing this to animals. He only stopped when Dean put a hand on his shoulder and grinned at him.

 

“We should go now. We’ll get you another one,” Dean said.

 

Castiel nodded and straightened himself. He was covered in blood and they would need to get more clothes. But Dean didn’t yell at him for causing trouble or hit him because he killed the man. No, Dean was above all that and instead grinned at him and promised for more, and Cas couldn’t hold back the tears.

 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Dean asked softly when he saw the tears. Castiel would sometimes do that, cry all of a sudden for no apparent reason. Dean knew it had something to do with what was done to him a long time ago and he had already sworn to himself that one day he would find those responsible and kill them. But for now, he pulled Cas into his arms and hugged him.

 

“Sorry,” Cas sobbed, “I’m just so glad I met you, Dean.”

 

It made Dean happy to hear those words from Cas no matter how often he said them. They had found each other in this huge horrible world and they were now each other’s savior, giving comfort when one needed it, giving encouragement when one was down, giving love when one was sad.

 

 

 

Two more years later and Dean and Castiel had perfected their killing styles. They hadn’t messed up in a long time and they never got caught. Hunting and killing became a game for them and they played it damn well. They learned o use their young age as an asset to lure victims to secluded areas where either Cas or Dean waited, depending on who did the luring. They soon discovered that Cas did it best since he had been doing this for longer and he was also slim, with beautiful blue eyes that looked so harmless and then he had this face that looked sad and just made you want to hug and sooth him.

 

Dean knew the feeling since he was always feeling exactly that whenever Cas would tilt his head and stare at him. And recently, he had wanted to do more than just hug Cas. He was growing up and so was Cas, both of them having reached puberty a while ago but haven’t really done much about it. But while Cas had seemed to be so unfazed, Dean had felt the growing urge in his jeans. He had learned to masturbate when Cas wasn’t looking but he didn’t know if Cas had done so too. It was the first time Dean hid something from Cas after all those years, and he wasn’t sure how to tell Cas that he was using him to jerk off.

 

They settled in abandoned houses whenever they could, especially in winter. They never stayed in the same place for too long because the cops were always not far behind. The boys had no idea how much the cops knew but from time to time they would see some headlines on old newspapers with their kills splashed on the front page. It made Dean laughed while Cas worried that maybe they would be caught soon.

 

“Dean, do you want a burger?” Cas asked from the living room. He was on the couch, a plate in hand. The couch was moldy just like the rest of the place but at least it was warm inside. Cas had brought back burgers while Dean had been sleeping. “Dean?” Cas called out when his friend didn’t come out from the room at the mention of burger. He frowned, stood up and went to the bedroom, worry starting to grow in his belly.

 

He pushed the door open and stopped dead in his track. Dean was sprawled on the bed, naked, the stolen headphone on his ears, his head thrown back, his hands pumping his erection.

 

“Shit!” Dean swore when he suddenly realized that the door had been opened and saw Cas standing there, staring. He suddenly felt guilty and embarrassed and because he didn’t know what to do next, he yelled, “What the fuck do you want?” he saw Cas’ face fell an instant before the other boy spun around and ran, slamming the door shut and Dean regretted it immediately. Cas was like a fragile flower that Dean took care of and yelling at him was definitely the worst thing he could have ever done and he had never meant to. He jumped off the bed, pulled his boxers on and ran for Cas.

 

He found him on the porch, sitting down on the cold floor, his legs pulled against his chest in a very vulnerable position. Dean sighed and hated himself for making Cas like this. He sat next to him and shivered in the cold as he had no clothes but his boxers on. He put a cold arm around Cas and pulled him closer. “I’m sorry, Cas,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean to yell at you. It’s my fault, you aren’t to blame.” But Cas said nothing and just stared right ahead in the darkness and didn’t even glance at Dean. “Cas, please, talk to me. You know you’re all I have. Don’t do this, please,” Dean begged, feeling the first tears on his cold cheeks. He had long forgotten what crying meant. He had cried when his mother took Sam away and he had cried when he found himself all alone the first night his father left him for work. Then he had promised himself that he would never cry again. And of course, the only one who made him cry had to be Cas. It was always Cas. “Cas…”

 

Cas felt the wetness on his shoulder and realized Dean was crying. He had never seen Dean cried before and it made his heart hurt that he was the one who did this, and he cried too because it was too much to hold back. He pulled Dean into a hug, warming the cold body and together they sobbed because they had each other and they were being silly to ever think that this could end. “I’m sorry Dean,” Cas mumbled into Dean’s ear.

 

“Don’t be, it’s my fault,” Dean replied back, pulling slightly away from the hug so that he could look into Cas’ eyes. “I’m sorry for using you to jerk off,” he admitted.

 

Cas paused as he registered what Dean had just said. Then he laughed because he had been doing the same thing and when he had seen Dean naked on the bed, it had aroused him in a way he had never felt before and he had felt so guilty. “How about we jerk each other off from now on?” Cas suggested.

 

Dean grinned, “That’d be awesome.”

 

Cas reached into Dean’s boxers right then and touched the soft sensitive area that no one had touched before. Dean tensed at the weird sensation but he reached for Cas’ as well and was surprised to see it already hard.

 

“We should go inside,” Cas muttered because it was cold outside and Dean’s teeth had started clattering.

 

“Ok,” Dean replied, not too willing to move right now but knew they should go back inside before he froze to death. “Let’s go to the bedroom.”

 

Cas grinned, “You think we will make it till there?”

 

“Maybe,” Dean grinned back as they ran inside where it was warm.

 

 

 

**Chapter 4**

 

They were sixteen when Dean started to talk to other kids their age. He hung out with them from time to time, leaving Cas alone at home – wherever that happened to be. He would go out with girls and make out with them when Cas wasn’t looking. But Cas knew and he wasn’t sure why Dean was doing this. Two years ago they had started to pleasure each other but it never went farther than handjobs and blowjobs. And now Dean was less and less willing, spending more time away from Cas than with him.

 

And Cas remembered the time when he was five and he didn’t understand why he was being punished. This felt the same – it was all confusion and uncertainty. He loved Dean beyond reason but Dean didn’t love him back like he did and once again Cass was left all alone. It was probably because he deserved it. What else could explain why everyone left him in the end? His mother barely knew him when she dumped him into a dumpster to die. His foster families always threw him back into the system. He shouldn’t be surprised that Dean was doing the same now. Dean was distancing himself, telling Cas to fuck off indirectly. Cas knew that. Of course he did. But he couldn’t bring himself to leave just yet. He knew he didn’t deserve to be happy or to be with a wonderful person like Dean. He knew that Dean had grown up to be a charming person who was able to talk his way into anything while Cas had grown to be a withdrawn nerdy kind of guy who was shunned and he was like a dirty secret for Dean to hide away in the dark.

 

Cas sat on the porch of the old house they had settled in for the past few weeks. It was eerily quiet, with Dean gone off to some party he had been invited to after he had sweet-talked the young girl he met at the coffee shop. The first time Dean left, he had done so without saying a thing, leaving Cas to wake up alone and scared. Cas had panicked and ran all around the house, looking for Dean, thinking it might have been the cops. He had cried and felt like his heart had been torn but then Dean had just walked right in, like it was nothing. He had asked what’s wrong with Cas and that was it. He hadn’t pulled Cas into a hug like he used to. He hadn’t softened his voice and whispered comforting words into Cas’ ears like he used to. He had just stood there and coldly asked what was wrong. And Cas had felt like screaming at that moment. He wanted to tear his own heart out because it hurt too much. It was hurting just to breath, just to be alive when Dean was being this cold to him. He had fled that night, running into the empty cold streets until his legs couldn’t move anymore, until his breath was ragged and until his whole body gave under him. Then he had laid there on the cold wet ground in the middle of nowhere and cried. And cried more because Dean hadn’t come after him. In that moment he knew it was over. Whatever he had had with Dean was gone, disappeared into the wind like ashes.

 

He did go back to the house though, and it was never the same again. They didn’t even share the same bed anymore, and Dean was barely home. He was gone for days sometimes, returning just to crash on the couch where Cas couldn’t snuggle up to him. Dean barely talked to him and he didn’t dare say anything because he was still clinging to the hope that Dean would turn around and hug him again. He didn’t want to lose the little he had left of Dean but even he knew it was just an unrealistic dream. He spent his lonely nights crying while Dean was away and cursed himself for being so weak and useless. It was time for him to leave. To give Dean the freedom he needed and deserved.

 

Castiel left that night while Dean was at some party. He grabbed the few things he had and walked out of the door, his heart numb from all the crying. He walked and walked for hours, going nowhere in particular and no one stopped him to ask if he was alright. He paused at a bridge and over to the edge, looking down to the hard concrete below where cars drove by in quick succession. He could end his misery if he just jumped over that ledge. He could end that dread in his heart and end the loneliness. He could forget all the anguish and maybe he could forget Dean. He climbed over the edge and surprised himself when tears rolled down his face because he had been so sure he had dried out his tear ducts by now.

 

All he wanted was for Dean to come back to him. All he wanted was be back to that night when they were still fourteen and for the first time touched and explored each other. All he wanted was to see Dean’s smile one more time. But he could never have that. Never again. It was probably god’s punishment to give him everything and taking it all away. He was meant to suffer and pay for being born for the rest of his life. He didn’t deserve happiness and he was stupid for ever thinking that he could be happy.

 

“Thanks for everything, Dean,” he whispered and let himself fall.

 

“Stop!” someone screamed, tackling Cas before he could fall and they hit the ground together.

 

Surprised, Cas looked at the person who just stopped him. It was a black bald man in his early thirties and Cas’ eyes widened at the sight of a gun under his coat. Then he saw the police badge and he knew he had to get out of here. He kicked the man, taking him by surprise and ran. But he was tired, having walked for hours and the man caught up easily, tackling him again. He fell and scrapped his hands on the harsh ground.

 

“Don’t move!” the cop ordered. He pulled Cas’ arms behind his back and cuffed his hands.

 

Cas wanted to scream and yell and ask why he was being cuffed but he kept his mouth shut, vaguely remembering the times when he hadn’t been allowed to speak as he was being beaten.

 

“C’mon, let’s go,” the man said as he pulled Cas up and dragged him to his car. The young boy got in the car without making more fuss and he wondered why he hadn’t spoken a word. “What’s your name?” he asked.

 

Castiel ignored him and looked down.

 

“I’m Victor,” the man said, trying to get the boy to talk. He had been following him for a while now after he saw him walking aimlessly and alone. He had recognized him from the sketches and description that witnesses gave from the murders of several people. The boy had a sweet angelic face and it was hard to belief he was capable of such violence. But it had been years since Victor and the rest of the FBI had been after the two youngest serial killers in American story, following the bloody trail they left behind, always a step too late. They had intel that the boys were in this city but it was total luck that Victor saw one of them just walking on the street. He had meant to follow him, hoping he would lead him to the other one but when he had seen him climb that ledge, he knew something was up.

 

“Can’t you at least tell me your name?” Victor asked. It was going to be hard to interrogate him if he wasn’t able to talk. While they knew the other boy’s identity and background, they knew nothing of this one. The other one was Dean Winchester and his father reported him missing several years ago when he was only twelve. When the murders started, Dean’s name came up as it matched the profilers’ description though they never expected him to be that young. They found dead animals all around the neighborhood and soon discovered the involvement of a second person. They had thought the second unsub was an older man, teaching Dean how to kill but they soon found out it was just another boy and that the two of them were teaching each other while murdering their way around. But they had no idea who the second kid was – there was no missing report that fit his description. They had no name for him, just a description based on what witnesses saw. And it was always the same thing; he was a sweet shy boy who didn’t talk and who followed that other boy that did all the talking.

 

“Where’s your friend?” Victor asked to the still quiet boy. He hoped it would shock the boy to hear that he knew about Dean but he got no reaction. He frowned. Either the boy was way good or he wasn’t their unsub.

 

Victor pulled over at the local police station where the FBI had set up for the time being while following the lead to the boys. “You better start talking, for your own good,” he said and still got no reaction. He sighed, got out and opened the door for the boy, pulling him out.

 

The boy got out, compliant and went along with him. He was put into an interview room and cuffed to the table. “You need something to drink?” Victor asked but the boy just looked down, not moving. So Victor stepped out of the room and went to observe him from the other side of the mirror where the boy wouldn’t see him.

 

“Is that him?” Reed, his long time partner asked.

 

Victor glanced at him and nodded, “Seems so. He fits the description and he’s off. Like way off.”

 

“Hasn’t said a word?”

 

“Not one. No complain, no question, nothing.”

 

And that stayed the same as days passed and people came and go from the interview room and even a lawyer presented himself to Cas. A social worker also came since he was under-aged but Cas refused to speak. The Fed tried to trick him into telling him about Dean, telling him things like he knew Cas was just following Dean and that they would protect him from the dangerous boy. The man tried to convince Cas that he was a victim and that Dean was the bad guy. But Cas knew better and he would just sit there at the little table, his eyes distant. He was put in a cell when they got tired of talking to themselves, then the next day they would try all over again. It was getting tiresome but Cas stayed strong and said nothing. He wasn’t going to give Dean away. Never. It didn’t matter what happened to him but he wasn’t going to get Dean involved because of his stupidity. He should just have slit his own throat instead of walking around, exposing himself to the cops like an idiot. He sincerely hoped Dean was okay, wherever he was. He was used to be caged – to the constricting feeling of darkness but Dean was a free spirit who had always done whatever he wanted and had never known how it felt to be thrown into a dark cold room and Cas was going to keep it that way.

 

Castiel was on the small hard bed in his prison cell and looked out the barred window. It was so similar to that old house that he had to laugh at the irony of it. All these years and he was still just as trapped. He had never been able to fly freely like those birds. But he was grateful that he had found his own tiny bird, even if it was over now. It was as much happiness as he was ever going to get and could possibly hoped for and it was about time to end this endless foolishness. He got up from the bed, pulled the sheets off and tied it into a knot.

 

 

 

**Chapter 5**

 

Dean stared at the empty house, Cas’ few stuffs gone. He felt that first hinge of panic, suddenly worried what stupid thing Cas could be up to now. He ran outside, looked around, eyes searching for that frame that he knew so well but Cas was long gone. He dropped to his feet and screamed, a long painful wail that hurt his throat but didn’t stop. It wasn’t enough. He wanted to hit something, to slash at something. He wanted to kill. And he felt that familiar wave of uncontrollable urges threatening to burst out. He held it back, holding his painful chest and cried out for Cas.

 

A few hours later, when he was finally able to get up, Dean walked back to the house, tired and eyes puffy and swollen, his throat sore and raw. He dropped to the couch and thought about where he had gone wrong. Everywhere apparently.

 

He had distanced himself from Cas, unable to face that angelic face any longer. He had gone out and met other people, hoping that he could forget the little voice in his head that kept telling him to grab Cas and pin him down and do things that should never be done to another human being. He was so scared that one day he would actually do it, and with each day that passed, it got harder to ignore. Every time Cas touched him, every time he looked at him with those intense blue eyes, every time he would cry, Dean had felt like pushing Cas down and raping him, ravaging and sullying that precious, soft and fragile body, making him entirely his and his alone. He had felt like locking him up in the dark and keeping him away from everything and anyone who might dirty him. He knew it was wrong – he knew he couldn’t do that to Cas, not after the terrible things that he went through before they met. So he had done the only thing he could to stop himself from acting on those urges – he distanced himself. It hurt him when Cas cried the first time Dean left without telling him. He had wanted to grab Cas and hug him but he knew if he did that he wouldn’t be able to hold back, so he just stood there and watched as Cas ran out in tears. And Dean had never wanted to kill himself more than at moment.

 

And now Cas had finally left him. Dean felt an emptiness inside him that was growing with each passing second. He grabbed the couch’s pillow and could smell Cas on it. He hugged it and cried again at the memory it held – Cas slim frame lying on it, Cas hugging it on lonely nights. Dean trembled, shivering uncontrollably and felt so sick. And suddenly he threw up, disgusted with himself. He emptied his belly, crying at the lost of the best thing that ever happened to him, and when there was nothing left, he dropped the floor, curling over himself.

 

 

A couple of days later, Dean had lost his appetite and had barely eaten. He had barely slept too, since every single time he closed his eyes he would see Cas smiling at him, then he would see him cry. It pained him too much to think about how he screwed up the most precious thing he ever had and how he had let Cas go just like that.

 

He resigned himself to live without his other half because he deserved it. He sat on that couch that was starting to lose Cas’ scent. The house was starting to forget that Cas was ever here but until all traces of him disappeared, Dean was going to stay here and take in the last memory of Cas. He picked up today’s newspaper that he had stolen from the neighbor and flipped it open. He kept the habit that he and Cas developed as they ran from the cops – it was always a good idea to know what was going on, especially since they didn’t have a proper working television most of the time. He remembered how he used to teach Cas to read and write and he had felt so proud of himself when Cas was able to write his first sentence. Then Cas had quickly turned things around as he started to read more and more complicated books that they stole and started to teach Dean. Dean hadn’t liked to study but he enjoyed the closeness he and Cas shared whenever Cas would lie next to him and show him the new words he learned.

 

So Dean could now read and write like a proper sixteen year old. He turned the page of the newspaper and frowned at the title of one of the articles. “Under-aged serial killer caught after years of pursuit,” Dean read out loud and his heart almost stopped. He read the whole article several times, just to be sure. There was no description or name given about the boy caught and the article was rather vague but Dean knew it was Cas. It had to be him. Cas had been caught while Dean was here, safe.

 

He dropped the newspaper and grabbed his coat as he rushed out, not sure how he was going to save Cas but there was no way he was leaving him there to be caged and imprisoned. No, no, Cas was meant to spread his wings far and wide and to fly off, free from everything. He wasn’t meant to be kept in a small room where he couldn’t shine and glow. To hell with caution, he was going to Cas back one way or another, even at the cost of his life.

 

 

 

It took preparation and several hours of Dean ranting and raving aimlessly before he could calm down and think properly. The first thing he needed to do was get guns. There was no way to burst Cas out without weapons. He gathered more information over the next couple of days, learning that Cas was being held at the local police station where the feds were currently based. He had to be more careful because he was going against feds and local cops, which made a total of around twenty of them. It might be hard for one single boy to go against this many people, but he had a plan. He was going to use all the skills he had learned along the way.

 

In less than a week since Cas’ disappearance, Dean was ready. He had bought guns, got beaten up for them when the deal didn’t go quite well and later killed the assholes who beat him up with the gun they sold him. In the past few days, he had also convinced a group of teenagers that the cops were bad and were keeping his best and very innocent friend locked up for no reason. He invented a sobbing story about how the cops were raping him and abusing him every day. It helped that the group of teenagers were high on the drugs that Dean provided and soon they agreed to help Dean to free his friend.

 

So here they were – a dozen of them, ready to burst into the police station with guns – that Dean gave them – and to cause as much distraction as they could while Dean free his friend. Dean gave them the signal and in they went, screaming for blood and firing blindly into the station. Dean stayed back and watched as cops and feds getting up, shooting back. There was lots of broken glass and screams and Dean ignored it all, he slipped through the back and went straight for the cells. And then he saw him, just standing there like an angel – a being so pure and that shone so bright that the bar that caged him felt so wrong.

 

“Castiel!” Dean yelled as he ran to him.

 

Cas dropped the sheets in his hands and spun at the familiar voice that he had been wishing to hear one last time. “Dean?” he asked in disbelief when he saw the other boy running to him. “Dean!” he called out this time, hands reaching through the bars as his heart leaped with excitement and happiness. He couldn’t believe Dean was actually here. It didn’t matter than this was probably a dream of some sort. He was just glad to see those green eyes.

 

Dean grabbed the hands that reached out through the bars and held them against his chest, his head resting against the bars where Cas’ was on the other side. “Cas, I’m so fucking happy to see you,” Dean mumbled. He couldn’t explain how he felt – couldn’t understand the way his whole body felt so much lighter, or why he was suddenly crying. All he knew was Cas was here and alive and they were finally touching again.

 

“Dean, why?” Cas asked softly.

 

Dean let his hands go reluctantly and pulled out his lock-picking equipment. “I’m going to get you out of here, Cas. Then we’re going to talk about how much of an idiot I am.”

 

Cas nodded but said nothing else because he wasn’t sure he could talk right now. He watched Dean work at the locks and a few seconds late the door popped open. Cas threw himself at Dean in a tight squeeze that Dean happily reciprocated and they kissed, their tongues pushing into each other’s mouth. And it felt so good, so right. This was home. This was where they belonged. “We need to go now,” Dean finally said.

 

“Ok,” Cas replied and Dean grabbed his hand and they grinned at each other before Dean led the way to freedom.

 

 

 

**Chapter 6**

 

Castiel and Dean left the town pretty fast after that. They didn’t even go back to the house. They hotwired a car and Dean drove them away to safety. They drove for hours until Dean finally pulled over on a street that was surrounded by looming trees. He smiled sadly and turned to look at Cas.

 

“I’m sorry,” Dean said.

 

Cas stared back at the green eyes and freckled face and returned the sad smile, “I’m sorry too. For leaving like that.”

 

And Dean pulled Cas into a hug, kissing him on the forehead. They stayed like that for a moment, taking comfort in each other’s warmth. “I never meant for you to leave Cas. In fact, I don’t want you to go anywhere. But… I’m so scared,” Dean admitted.

 

Cas frowned, held Dean’s hands in his, needing the constant contact, “Of what, Dean?”

 

“Of the things – the things that I might do to you.”

 

“I don’t care Dean. I need you more than I need air. I was going to end my life because I can’t live without you in it,” Cas muttered.

 

“No! You can’t!” Dean snapped. Then he calmed himself, “You can’t take your life. It’s too precious. Please, promise me that you won’t.” He stared at Cas with pleading eyes that he hoped would reach him.

 

Cas was taken aback. Did Dean really though his life was precious? How could that be? “I – I’m not – I don’t deserve this Dean. I don’t deserve you.”

 

“Don’t say that. I think we just… need each other. But I don’t want to hurt you,” Dean sighed.

 

“Why would you hurt me?” Cas asked, confused and curious.

 

“Because I can’t stop the thoughts – I want to,” he trailed and took a deep breath because he needed to explain how dangerous he was to Cas if he wanted this to work. “Sometimes I get those urges, Cas, where I want to push you down and fuck you and hurt you. I want to press that slim neck and make you choke until you beg me to stop while I pound into you mercilessly.”

 

Dean furrowed his brows when Cas just laughed after he just bared his darkest secret. “What?” he asked because he wanted to know what Cas was thinking. He told himself he would let Cas walk away if he wanted because he wasn’t going to be the one to cage him.

 

“It’s just – I know how you feel,” Cas answered, a little smile still playing on his face. “And it doesn’t matter what you want to do with me, I’m still gonna cling to you because you’re all I need.”

 

“But Cas –”

 

Cas put a finger on Dean’s lips, shutting him up, “I know what you need to stop these urges, Dean. I know how to deal with them, so will you trust me?”

 

Dean smiled back, not quite sure what Cas had in mind. Was it really so simple? Could he really be freed from these scary thoughts? Was he really allowed to have Cas back after all the stupid things he did and the way he hurt Cas? “You know I already trust you, Cas.”

 

Cas pulled him into a light kiss, cherishing the touch of their skins and lips, “Then let’s promise each other no more secret and never to leave each other again.”

 

“I promise, Cas. I won’t ever leave you. I would die first.”

 

 

 

A year later, Dean had his urges under control. Cas had suggested to up their kills, making them more violent and Dean was allowed to rape and mutilate the women. It was satisfying and helped calm the little voice in his head. It excited Cas to see Dean this ferocious and to think that he and only he could make Dean moan softly in pleasure. And after each kill, he and Cas would fuck each other until they couldn’t take it anymore, until they were too spent to move an inch, until they were content and filled with a warmth they knew they couldn’t get anywhere else.

 

They were now seventeen, and soon would be adults but they were still on the run, still not caught despite all the bodies they left behind. They were more careful now, ever since Cas got caught. And they kept a careful eye on what the feds were doing. They moved around much more, never saying in the same place more than two days in a row. They went to random places, taking turn deciding where they would go next. Once Cas wanted to see a waterfall so they went and next Dean wanted to see the beach, so they went there too. They were free and happy and nothing was going to get in their way.

 

“Here,” Dean said as he handed Cas the ice cream he just bought. It was summer already, little birds singing and reminding Cas of flying. They were a big city where people didn’t care what two kids were doing by themselves. So they allowed themselves to relax a little and sat on a bench in the park close to the old building where they were currently staying.

 

“Thanks,” Cas replied as he took a first lick of the delicious sweetness.

 

Dean watched Cas eat, one lick at a time. His tongue flicked out then disappeared over and over and it was arousing Dean too much, so he looked away. “You know, I remember Sam used to like ice cream too.”

 

Cas nodded, listening. Dean talked about his brother from time to time and he always had that sad look in his eyes when he did.

 

“He should be thirteen now. I wonder how’s he doing. He was always smart so I’m sure school is easy for him.”

 

Cas smiled, “Do you want to go see him?”

 

Dean tensed. He wanted to, of course. But he was scared of ruining Sam’s life, of destroying the wonderful life Sam probably had. Besides, the feds knew his identity so they might be keeping an eye on Sam. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Most of all, Dean was afraid Sam wouldn’t remember him. That Sam would reject him.

 

“You worry about him, Dean,” Cas said softly and took Dean’s hand in his, “You don’t need to talk to him. Just check on him from a distance.”

 

Dean pondered the idea. Cas was right, he could just check on Sam from a distance. Make sure the boy was doing ok. That he was happy. Then they could leave before the feds are alerted. They would probably need some sort of disguise and he imagined Cas dressing as a girl. It would look funny on him.

 

“What is it?” Cas asked when Dean started laughing.

 

“Do you think you would look good in a dress?”

 

Cas frowned, “I don’t have the build for that anymore.”

 

And Dean knew Cas was right. Not too long Cas had been rather slim and slender but he had grown up, catching up with Dean in the past few months. They had both started exercising their body, building muscles and stamina so they could run and fight if needed. “I guess not,” Dean admitted with a chuckle. “Let’s go see, Sam,” he finally said and grinned.

 

“Dean,” Cas said as Dean stood up.

 

“Yeah?” Dean asked as he offered Cas a hand.

 

Cas took the warm solid hand in his and smiled. He pulled at it, drawing Dean closer so that their bodies touched, “I love you.”

 

Dean kissed the soft lips that whispered those arousing words, thanked whatever deity that existed for giving Dean this precious angel. “I love you too,” he replied back.

 

 

 

**Chapter 7**

 

Sam lived in a quiet little town together with his mother. His father would sometimes call to check on him but his mom was never happy when he did. She blamed him for Dean’s disappearance. Sam didn’t know what happened to his brother and his parents refused to tell him anything. He knew Dean was a cool guy so he was probably fine – or so he hoped.

 

School was a pain though. There was this group of older guys who started to bully him. He was kind of small and nerdy after all. They pushed him in the corridors, hit him if he tried to fight back, and scribbled on his locker and desk. But he ignored them because he knew they were just morons and he didn’t want to worry his mother. So every day he would go to school and pretend he didn’t see the insults on his desk. He would just pick up his stuff quietly whenever they pushed him. He knew in his heart that one day, soon enough, they would pay back for what they did.

 

But a year later, he was thirteen and still being bullied by the same group. He started to wish his brother would be here and protect him but he knew how stupid that was. He endured the constant harassment and started to become more and more reserved. He had no friends as everyone would avoid him because they didn’t want to get involve. He was slowly becoming a recluse, and he knew it and couldn’t care less. He found his salvation in books that should have been too advanced for a thirteen year old. But he read them anyway and wished he could just grow up already.

 

And that’s how Dean and Castiel found him. Dean raged, throwing things around once they were back to their made-up room. He wailed and screamed his frustration out and Cas let him because Dean needed it. After a little while, Dean tired out and dropped on the edge of the bed.

 

Cas sat next to him and just held his hand, giving him the comfort he needed.

 

“I can’t believe he’s living through this,” Dean muttered. “We need to do something.”

 

Cas smiled and pulled Dean into their usual hug, “I’ll be there with you, whatever you choose to do.”

 

That made Dean smiled. Cas was always able to make him smile no matter what. “Let’s go kill those suckers.”

 

“That will get Sam involved,” Cas warned.

 

“No, he doesn’t have to know. We’ll get them and kill them without Sam knowing it’s us.”

 

“Ok, then,” Cas replied and kissed Dean’s temple. “Let’s get ready.”

 

 

 

Two days later, Castiel approached the boys responsible for Sam’s misery. There were five of them, all actively bullying Sam. They were a year older than Sam and Cas wondered why wouldn’t they bully someone their age. But then again, he never understood bullying despite being a victim of it himself. Dean actually wanted to kill every single person who just stood by and watched Sam suffer passively but Cas had managed to convince him otherwise. Killing this many people would definitely mark Sam for life so Dean agreed to reserve his fury for the five bullies.

 

“Hey guys, want a smoke?” Cas asked casually. They were at the back of the school, ditching class.

 

They glared at Cas and the bigger one of them took an intimidating step towards Cas, “Who are you?”

 

Cas showed them the joint in his hand. “It’s just twenty bucks.”

 

“Who the fuck are you?” the same kid repeated.

 

Cas rolled his eyes and lit the joint. He took a puff and blew out the smoke slowly. After the jail incident, Dean had taught him to be more open and to be more assertive. Dean was a great teacher and soon Cas was just as charming as Dean whenever he wanted. They went to the occasional party when they felt like it and both Dean and Cas were popular among the ladies. More often than not, at least one of the ladies never made it back home. “Sorry, I thought you would be interested. Didn’t know you were chickens who don’t even smoke the good shit.”

 

“You – ” the big one started.

 

“Wait,” another said. He stopped the bigger one and glared at Cas. “You got more of those?” he asked.

 

Cas grinned, “Come with me if you want. I’ll get you a good price.”

 

They followed Cas like the idiots they were and Cas easily led them to the parked trailer they stole a few days ago. He opened the door and stepped away. “Get in,” he ordered and the boys just stared at him.

 

“What the fuck?” one of them asked.

 

“He said to get in so get in,” Dean said from behind them, holding a gun.

 

“Wow –“ one of them exclaimed.

 

“He has less patience than I do,” Cas warned.

 

They hesitated but when the first one got in, the rest followed. Dean followed closely, keeping his gun on them. Cas was the last one to get in, looking around before closing the door.

 

“What the fuck do you want?” the same big guy asked.

 

“Sit,” Dean ordered, pointing to the chairs they had placed beforehand. Once they were seated, Cas went around, tying them one by one. When he was done, he stepped away to let Dean have his fun. Dean put the gun down and picked up a knife. “This is payback for what you did to my little brother.”

 

“Who? What the fuck are you talking about?” one of them asked as panic settled in at the sight of the knife and the crazed look in the man’s eyes.

 

“Sam Winchester, you morons. You have no idea what you got into,” Dean snapped and let the little voice in his head take over.

 

 

 

The next day, five bodies were found. They were displayed in a sick fashion on the football field. Each one of them was held up by some sort of stick that was inserted through their ass and grounded securely into the soft ground, holding them in a bizarre standing position. Their eyes had been gorged out, leaving the sockets empty and bloody. They had also been gutted but their insides were missing – it probably been the killing blow.

 

The poor girl who found them screamed her lungs out before fainting. The feds came soon after and Agent Victor Henriksen was the first fed to arrive. He knew the work of the two psychos he had been after all these years when he saw it. This one was definitely theirs and he knew exactly why. This was Sam’s school and Sam was Dean’s little brother. He had known that one day Dean would be back for his brother but he was surprised that he actually hadn’t talked to Sam.

 

He had Sam sitting in one of the classroom, alone. His mother was on the way and he had little time to talk to Sam before she arrived and took Sam home.

 

“I’m Victor,” he said with a polite smile.

 

Sam just glared at him and Victor saw the resemblance. Last time he had had one of the two killer boys but Dean Winchester set up a pretty good plan to burst his friend out. Several cops and teenagers died that night while Dean and the other boy ran. He still didn’t know the boy’s name but he now had pictures and his fingerprints. And from the video surveillance, it was clear the two were more than friends. They had hugged and kissed each other with such love and passion that Victor wondered how they could be so cold to the rest of the world.

 

“You’re Sam, right?” Victor asked. The young boy nodded but said nothing else. “Dean’s your brother. You know him?”

 

“Dean?”

 

“Yes, Dean. Have you seen him recently?” Victor asked softly.

 

But Sam shook his head, “Nope. Haven’t seen him for a long time now.” Then he narrowed his eyes, “No one would tell me what’s up with him. But you know, don’t you? You’re a fed. Are you after my brother?”

 

 _A smart kid_ , Victor thought. Like his brother. “He did some very bad things so you need to tell me if he came to you.”

 

Sam knew it. His brother was into some shitty things and the corpses outside who happened to be the very people who had been bullying him were probably a gift from Dean. He refrained from smiling that his wish had really come true. It was no good to let the feds know that he wasn’t disturbed in the slightest. Instead he frowned and pretended he didn’t know what the fed meant, “No, he hasn’t. He hasn’t showed up for years now, so why would he now?”

 

Victor stared at the young boy and knew he was telling the truth but he could also tell that he was hiding something. There was a glint in his eyes that wasn’t quite right and Victor just hoped that he didn’t turn up like his brother because going after one crazy Winchester was more than enough.

 

“Stay away from my son,” a voice snapped and Victor winced.

 

“Ms. Campbell,” Victor greeted but the woman didn’t greet him back. She grabbed her son and left. “Damnit,” he cursed and decided to go check the bodies at the morgue. He might get better luck there.

 

Sam was put under surveillance after that but Dean never showed up again and instead, bodies kept dropping in more and more gruesome ways all over the country. He had to face the truth, these two weren’t coming back here, they were too smart for that. The unknown boy was likely the brain while Dean was had the quick instinct that kept them going and together they made a scary murderous combination.

 

 

 

**Chapter 8**

 

Dean pulled Cas into a soft kiss and Cas sighed. He rolled over so that he was now on top of Dean, their bodies touching from chest to feet. “Hmmm… that was a nice wake-up kiss,” Cas muttered.

 

“You weren’t sleeping,” Dean replied back, a sad smile on his face.

 

“What is it?” Cas asked with a frown. He has known Dean long enough to know there was something wrong. It’s been fifteen years since they first met and their relationship was as strong as ever. Their lives had changed over the years, from runaway kids who stole food to runaway serial killers who used to sleep just about anywhere they could, sharing their warmth in cold winters and often charming their ways to their victims’ home. Now they were much older and had decided to settle down, renting a house under a fake name and paying for it with fake credit cards.

 

They both worked though, so as not to attract more attention than necessary. Dean worked as a mechanic – having been on the run and stealing cars and fixing them along the way had helped, and Cas had his own column in the local newspaper. They had been living this peaceful life for a year now but they were ready to move anytime if needed. On weekends, they took long drives across the state. Dean would drive in his new Impala and blast Zeppelin loudly and sing along while Cas laugh. And when they were tired, they would stop at the closest town and grabbed a girl and have some fun with her. Then they would leave the next day, returning back home relaxed and content, leaving behind a fresh corpse for the feds to worry about.

 

“You haven’t been sleeping lately. The nightmares are getting worse?” Dean asked.

 

Cas sighed and rolled off Dean. “I’m fine.”

 

But Dean knew Cas wasn’t so he pulled Cas back onto him, “We promised never to keep secrets from each other.”

 

Cas looked into his lover’s eyes and couldn’t deny it. “I know. I’m sorry Dean. I just – we have something good here and I don’t want to ruin it.”

 

Dean rubbed Cas’ bare back and offered an encouraging smile. “Tell me, Cas.” Cas sat up and Dean let him. He put his arms around the slightly smaller man, and rested his head on his shoulder.

 

Cas closed his eyes and enjoyed the comforting weight of Dean’s head on his shoulder and the warm solid arms around him. “It’s always the same nightmare. I’m this very small thing, you see. Then there’s that huge old man and his dirty fleshy hands. They would touch me and I would scream but they wouldn’t stop. And it hurt. It always hurts,” Cas said and held back the tears. He was much older now, he didn’t cry as easily anymore.

 

Dean frowned at the use of present tense. It was probably not a good sign. “Is it back when you were still in foster care?” Dena asked softly.

 

Cas nodded, “I don’t remember much because I willed myself to forget most of it but I can’t forget the things he did to me Dean. I was just five. How could he…” Cas trailed off and forced the sudden memory away.

 

Dean pulled Cas closer, pressing himself against Cas’ back. He really wanted to kill that asshole right now. He wanted to make him pay for all the suffering Cas went through because of him. As grateful as he was for having Cas, Cas had had a chance at a normal life. He wasn’t born that way like Dean was. He had been pushed into this painful world all because of that one man and a system that failed him when it was supposed to protect him. If he could go back into the past then he would kill that bastard and give Cas the chance he deserved. But it was too late for that but it wasn’t too late to find him now and make him regret every single thing he did to such a precious being like Cas. “Let’s go kill him, Cas.”

 

“But I don’t remember who he is,” Cas said, not surprised that Dean wanted to kill the monster in his nightmare. That was so like Dean that Cas smiled. “And even if I did, I have this perfect life with you now and I’m not going to do anything that would jeopardize it.”

 

“The nightmares are getting worst. You need closure and I’m going to find a way to find him,” Dean promised. “And fuck this life, I want you to be happy and not having nightmares all the time.”

 

Cas sighed and knew there was no use arguing with Dean. “Thank you,” he said instead because he was truly grateful to have someone who gave him what he needed and who was always there for him even when he was being so depressive.

 

 

 

Castiel had no idea how Dean pulled it off but one weekend he told Cas they were going to a special place. They drove for two days, stopping to rest for a few hours before they were on the road again and Cas knew where Dean was taking him. He was very quiet during the drive, preparing himself for what was to come. And finally Dean pulled over in a small town and an old neighborhood. Cas looked up at the old house he didn’t recognized. But then again he had spent more time locked inside it.

 

“Is that it?” Cas asked quietly.

 

“Yup,” Dean replied and grabbed his hand. “It’s going to be ok, I’m here.”

 

Cas smiled and squeezed the hand. “Let’s go.”

 

They walked to the front door and Dean didn’t bother to knock. He picked the lock while Cas kept an eye around and in seconds the door was opened and Cas stepped in. He remembered the moldy stench, the old couch in the living room. He remembered the old rusty locks on the door. And he remembered the old woman who jumped when they came in.

 

“Who are you?” she asked more out of shock than of curiosity.

 

 Cas noted the additional wrinkles on her face and the way her hand trembled slightly. She was in no condition to beat up small kids anymore. “Hello,” Cas simply said.

 

Dean ignored her, looking for the old man instead. He really wanted to bash his face against something hard right now.

 

Cas let Dean wander off. He smiled at the old lady, “Sit.”

 

She frowned and when she didn’t move Cas pulled out his gun and repeated, “Sit.” She had the good sense not to scream but sat on the couch, terrified. Cas relaxed and waited for Dean to come back.

 

Dean found the old man in his room, lying on the bed half naked. He looked dirty and disgusting, his fat belly rolling over the hem of his pants. “Who the fuck are you?” he growled when he saw Dean.

 

And as much as Dean wanted to hit him, he felt utter disgust at the thought of touching him. So he pulled out his gun and said, “Get up and come with me.”

 

The man’s eyes widened, “Who – ”

 

“I said get up now,’ Dean repeated in a low dangerous tone.

 

The old man jumped to his feet, well, as much as he could, seeing how fat he was. “What do you want?” he asked but Dean ignored him and instead led him back to the living room where Cas was waiting.

 

Cas breath caught when he saw the old man. He remembered those horrible hungry eyes and the fat fingers that touched him. “Hello,” he said, happy to hear that his voice wasn’t trembling.

 

“Who the fuck are you?” the man growled.

 

“Don’t remember him?” Dean asked and hit the man’s head with the butt of his gun. “He’s the child you abused over and over again.”

 

The man stared at Cas for a moment then he laughed. “Yeah, I remember. You were sooo young and tender.”

 

Cas’ eyes shut closed as he tried to keep the sudden sickness away and Dean was on the man like a savage beast. He hit him with his gun again and the man fell. He then kicked him several times in his fat sickening stomach with as much force as he could. He paused and the old man coughed. “You have no idea who you’re dealing with,” Dean said, voice calm and cold. He knew his eyes were just as cold as he went into that dark place in his head where the little voice resided.

 

“You! How could you! We gave you shelter – a place to stay and food,” the old woman snarled.

 

And Cas remembered the times when he went without food for days. The days when he was beaten and so hurt that he couldn’t move. And then they would throw him into that dark room and locked him up. He chuckled and with eyes equally cold as Dean’s, he shot the old woman in her knee. She fell and cried out in pain.

 

“You shot me!” she wailed and Cas raised an eyebrow before shooting her other knee.

 

“Shit, you’re crazy!” the old man said.

 

Dean smiled and it was a terrifying smile that promised much more pain. “We haven’t even started.”

 

 


	2. chapter 9 - 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we go... Sam's turn to shine.

**Chapter 9**

 

At the young age of twenty, Sam was a full-time student at Stanford, studying criminal law after getting an amazing 174 score on his SAT test. He wanted to be prepared if his brother ever got caught. Since the last time Dean showed up anywhere close to him back when he was thirteen, he had managed to make his mother tell him everything she knew – which wasn’t a lot unfortunately. So he had gone and find out himself. He was grateful for those hacking skills he had developed over the time he was being shunned and he hacked into the police reports to get more information. As much as he had wanted to, he had never hacked in the feds' database though because he hadn’t been sure he could get away with it.

 

But that was years ago and now he regularly checked the FBI’s reports to see if there was any progress on catching Dean. He had been surprised to find that his brother had a partner, an unknown man who had been with Dean all along. Sam was glad that Dean hadn’t been lonely and that he had found his special someone and he hoped they were happy wherever they were but he couldn’t help but feel a little jealous. Dean was his brother after all. He should have been the one there with him… but of course, the relationship these two shared was something brothers could never have. And so he thought if he were to join them, would he be welcomed? Would he be competition to the other unknown man and his affection for Dean?

 

He had seen the picture of the unknown man – he was handsome and had something about him that was… so intense and compelling – like you just couldn’t look away. The feds’ profilers described him as having a high IQ that allowed him to devise escape routes and erasing their trails. He was probably from an abusive past – when they had him in custody, they ran some test and found that he had had many broken bones in the past. They thought Dean was the dominant one while he was the submissive that would do whatever Dean said. But Sam knew better. He could tell they shared an equal relationship where they taught each other and respected each other’s choice. It was as healthy a relationship as two serial killers could ever have. So screw whatever the feds thought, he knew they were happy. And that was why he hadn’t gone to them even though he really wanted to be with his brother. He didn’t want to jeopardize what these two had.

 

So Sam sat at his desk, looking blankly at his laptop’s screen and tried to focus on the assignment that was due the next day.

 

“You’re not done yet?” Sam’s girlfriend asked as she came into his room.

 

Sam looked up at the pretty girl. She had long blond hair that Sam liked to hold in his hands whenever he could – it soothed him for a reason he didn’t understand and he didn’t try to. “I’m almost done. I’ll be there in a few. You go first, Jess.”

 

She paused for a second, knowing Sam was being dismissive again. He often went into his own mind and sat there blankly thinking about who knows what. It must be because he was a genius or something so she didn’t bother asking. Instead, she turned and left, knowing Sam wouldn’t be coming to bed tonight.

 

Sam sighed when Jessica left. She was a great girl and she probably deserved better than Sam – someone who would actually love her and make her happy. Like all his other relationship before this one, he never felt completely involved. He felt like an observer, distant and cold to whatever was happening. He knew at the back of his mind that it meant he was likely to be a sociopath like his brother, but he ignored it. He had never killed anyone or anything before. Ok, maybe except for that one spider he caught, put in a box and forgot in the burning summer sun. But he knew that he was slowly going into that cold darkness and that soon he wouldn’t be able to pretend that it wasn’t there anymore.

 

 

 

A year later, Sam had found the courage to give Jessica the freedom she deserved and was now dating a pushy, a little too dramatic girl named Ruby. Well, she was cute and the good part was Sam didn’t feel guilty going out with her because he had his suspicion about her also being a sociopath, though on a much lower level than Sam himself. There were times when he wanted to kill her, just to see what it felt like and maybe to get a little closer to his brother’s world.

 

Tonight was one of those nights. Ruby was crashing at his place again, after getting thoroughly drunk with her friends. Sam loomed over her where she had stumbled into his place and fell onto the couch, sleeping and he knew he was about to do what he had been struggling not to for so many years.

 

“Hey, babe,” Sam whispered, poking the girl lightly. When all he got in response was a groaned, Sam leaned over and grabbed her by the throat. She snapped awake, eyes wide as Sam strangled her.

 

“Sam – ” she choked out, her nails clawing at Sam’s hands.

 

But Sam ignored the pleading eyes and kept squeezing. He loved the fear and shock on her face, loved the faint gasps and chokes, loved the feel of power it gave him. He kept going a long time after the body went slack. Then he straightened himself and glanced at the scratches on his arms and hands. They were implicating as hell. He had to make sure the body stayed hidden long enough for these scratches to heal, then he could pretend Ruby never made it to his apartment after that night out with her friends.

 

Seriously though, Sam knew better. He knew the feds would be the one coming to knock at his door and not the local cops. He knew it would be a Victor Henriksen that would come to investigate and interrogate him. And he knew he would take advantage of the fact that Sam was now a suspect to ask him all sort of questions about Dean.

 

But he wasn’t smart for nothing and after years of studying police work and studying law, he beat Agent Henriksen at his own game when the latter came to investigate. Sam let him believed that he was devastated by Ruby’s disappearance, even asking the Agent if he thought it might be Dean – he would apologize to his brother (when he met him) for leading the fed in that direction but Dean already killed so many that one more wouldn’t matter. He blamed his withdrawal on his missing girlfriend and got drunk more often than not to prove his point until Henriksen promised to find Dean and bring him to justice before he left.

 

So Ruby was the first person Sam ever killed but soon enough the bodies started to pile around him and while he never killed anyone closed to him again, he could tell that his friends looked at him differently, as if he was not the same anymore. And he wasn’t. For the first time in his life, he felt free at not having to pretend to care about how others felt or whatever dramatic thing was happening to them. He had never cared, even when he was still a young boy, it’s just that now he stopped the pretense. His friends drew away from him, associating his change of behavior to the unresolved disappearance of his girlfriend. Sam would secretly smirk at that. If only they knew.

 

He made a good serial killer and he thought Dean would probably be proud of him. It might just be time to finally go meet his brother.

 

 

 

 

**Chapter 10**

 

Castiel and Dean had burned the old couple’s houses with the bodies inside so that it would look like an accident. But of course, the cops would find the bullets that had been fired sooner or later. By then Cas and Dean would be far gone and since it was not their usual MO, there was very little chance the feds would ever tie it back to them.

 

They had moved away after that. Cas had felt much better after and had rejoiced in the peace Dean had given him. And Dean had thought it was time to set up somewhere else after they had missed work for a week. So Cas had let Dean take him away again.

 

A year had passed since then and they were now living in Florida, with nicer weather and even a pool in their backyard. It seemed ridiculous for two grown men, much less notorious serial killers to have such a domesticated life but it felt perfect to them. The nightmares completely stopped after a while and Cas allowed himself to relax and enjoy the peace.

 

But of course, there was always something that tried to wiggle its ugly head into their happiness.

 

“Look at this,” Dean scowled as he handed Castiel today’s paper.

 

The front page bore a picture of a crime scene and intrigued, Cas unfolded it and read. After a moment he said, “He is copying us. Same MO, like these kills were a tribune to us.”

 

Dean nodded and sat next to Cas on their soft white couch. He huddled close, throwing his arm on the back of the couch. “He’s killing them fast. The feds are already after him. He will burn out soon and they’ll catch him if he continues like that.”

 

Cas reread the whole article with a frown. “I don’t think he’s doing this as an admirer, Dean. I think he wants us to find him.”

 

Dean huffed, “Are you serious?”

 

Cas raised one dark eyebrow at his skeptical friend and lover, “Yes, I’m pretty sure.”

 

“Well, you’re the one with the over-achieving brain,” Dean sighed. He put his feet up on the coffee table and relaxed against Cas as the TV blasted some pie commercial that made Dean oddly hungry.

 

“You’re thinking of something,” Cas muttered after a while. He could tell by the way Dean had fallen into silence, the way his body tensed and relaxed, the way his brows would furrow and his eyes darkened. “Tell me.”

 

“I really can’t hide anything from you, can I?”

 

“We’ve known each other too long for that.”

 

Dean chuckled because it was so cute the way Cas frowned, titled his head and said that in all seriousness. “I was thinking of going after him. It would be fun, wouldn’t it?”

 

Cas took a minute to consider – like he always did whenever Dean would suggest something insane or dangerous. He felt guilty for not always saying no to some dangerous stunts Dean wanted to pull – like that time with the girl Dean wanted to abduct in the middle of a busy street. But to be fair, he was able to say no when Dean suggested they robbed a bank and killed everyone in it – that was way too flashy for Cas.

 

But this time it was about this one guy who clearly wanted something from them. The feds would be following him closely and they might even be close to catching him and if Dean and himself just stepped into that chaos, they would get drag in too and be finally arrested. It was dangerous, risky, stupid but Cas found himself grinning, “We would show him the real deal.”

 

Dean grinned back, “Let’s go get that son of a bitch.”

 

 

 

  
Agent Victor Henriksen sighed. He had recently been following the trail of yet another copycat of the Winchester’s case. The details were all there, making this by far the most accurate copycat they had had so far. And while some had thought it was Dean and his Clyde’s doing – he started calling Dean’s partner that some years back, referring to Bonnie and Clyde – Victor knew otherwise the instant he saw the first body. Since then, there was always a little message addressed to him. It wasn’t in words but it was the thing that the killer left on purpose. A little petal from a flower like the one Victor had at home. A song that Victor liked playing on the speakers. A magazine Victor was subscribed to and that the victim would never be interested in. They were always displayed in a way that Victor would never miss them.

 

This perpetrator was good and he knew it, exhibiting over-confidence as he sometimes would leave the bodies in busy areas or abduct them when there were still people around. And Victor had his suspicion that the one the copycat was after wasn’t him but the gruesome pairs that inspired him.

 

Some day, soon he hoped, Dean and Clyde would come after the copycat and then Victor would just bag them all and throw them in death row where they belonged. He sighed at the thought though, because it was already the tenth victim and there was still no sigh of Dean and Clyde.

 

Like it so often was, the woman was young and pretty and still had the rest of her life ahead until she had the misfortune of crossing the path of an insane murderer. Victor crouched down to examine the body closer. She was sprawled naked on the grass, outside of her dormitory where she had been living. There were clear ligature marks on her wrists and ankles where she had been tied. Her face was blue and purple with bruises where she had been hit and subdued before her throat had been slit opened with a sharp instrument. The lack of clothes and bruises on her thighs indicated she had been brutally raped at some point, which was consistent with Dean’s MO. Victor stepped back when the ME crouched next to him to take some swabs but Victor already there wouldn’t be any trace. There wouldn’t be any semen or hair or anything else for that matter. Unlike Dean who didn’t have to worry about having his identity being uncovered, this one was always careful – too careful to Victor’s taste.

 

So while the cops did their job – keeping the crowd away and sealing the area, Victor walked around, taking in the scene the unsub had chosen this time. The building was facing away and the few trees around would have been enough to give the unsub the cover he needed in the dark night. That’s when he noticed something sticking out of the nearby tree trunk. Frowning, he went to investigate. He found a small piece of paper stuck into a small hole in the trunk. He pulled at it and out came an old creased picture. He examined it for a minute, knowing this was the unsub’s message to him but he didn’t understand why this. It was the photo of an old building with dark walls and broken windows. He had seen this somewhere but he couldn’t quite grasp it…

 

“Shit,” he muttered. He knew that place. It was where Dean’s first rape victim used to live and where the decent to hell had started for Henriksen as guilt consumed him because he hadn’t been able to stop Dean and his partner when he had the chance right before the rape started. It had been bloody, messy and more vicious than anything Victor had ever seen before, and many more continued to follow soon after. Dean had calmed down in the recent years but Victor would never forget what he was capable of and what he had done. But most importantly, the victim’s identity had never been revealed to the public. In fact, they had covered it up so well that as far as the media knew, she never existed. And for this unsub to even know where she had lived confirmed Victor’s suspicion. He had access to their records somehow. And this picture was a personal challenge to him.

 

He glanced back to the woman – she had been killed less a day ago and the unsub could still be around. The old building in the picture was less than a mile away. It couldn’t be coincidence. And because he desperately wanted to have a talk with the unsub one-on-one, and because he wanted to understand his obsession with Dean’s case, and because he wanted to know how anyone could do such a horrible thing to another human being and maybe because he was hoping that he could finally get more insight into Dean’s mind from someone who seemed to be thinking along the same path, he got into his car and drove to the old apartment complex on the picture without calling for back up.

 

Victor circled the area but when there was nothing that stood out, he felt a little silly for thinking his could be his lead. But he still got out of his car and walked over to the front door. The glass was shattered, leaving the frame bare. He stepped over the pieces and went in, turning his flashlight on and just in case, took out his gun as well.

 

He was in the lobby when he heard the low groaned. Alert now, he pointed his gun ahead and cautiously made his way to the source. He stopped dead when he saw the girl hanging by her arms, heavy chains holding her up. She saw him and tried to scream but the heavy gag on her mouth turned it into incomprehensible moans. She had some sort of vest around her chest – where you would expect buttons to be at the front were sharp looking spikes that dug lightly into her skin. The whole thing seemed to be ringed to some complex remote system.

 

“Shit,” Victor cussed. He glanced around but saw no immediate danger so he put his gun and flashlight away to free his hands and ran to her. He scowled at the vest but he could tell there was no way to remove it without risking hurting her. It was time to call for backup now and hee reached for his phone.

 

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” a voice said behind him.

 

Victor froze and swallowed at the click of a gun. He raised his hands, turned around slowly to face the unsub and was shocked to see Sam Winchester sitting on a chair in the dark corner. “Sam?” he couldn’t help but ask.

 

Sam stood up and stepped into the low light. He had some sort of remote in his hand and Victor knew instantly what it was for. “This device on her will go off unless I stop it. You have one minute to drop your weapon and walk over here before she dies,” Sam explained in a soft and calm tone.

 

The girl wiggled and tried to scream at that. She gave Sam pleading eyes but Sam ignored her completely and focused on the Agent.

 

He knew when he saw defeat so Victor pulled his gun from the holster and put it slowly on the ground. “Let her go,” he said.

 

Sam’s lips crooked into a small smile. “Sit here,” Sam said as he gestured to the chair he had just vacated. When Victor hesitated, he held the device up, “One press and it freezes the mechanism. Thirty seconds left, Victor.”

 

“Ok, ok.” He went to the chair and sat, glaring at Sam.

 

“Cuff yourself to the chair,” Sam ordered and Victor sighed but did as he was told.

 

“Ok, I’m here now. Let her go. She doesn’t have anything to do with this,” Victor said, trying to keep his voice calm and reasonable.

 

“You’re right. She doesn’t have to listen to this,” Sam replied.

 

But Sam didn’t stop the vest and Victor watched in horror when the vest snapped shut and the spikes pierced the woman. Her eyes widened in pain as she choked on her blood for a second, blood gushing out. Then her head dropped and Victor knew she was dead. He looked away, blaming himself for this mess. “You just killed an innocent girl,” he breathed.

 

“Yeah, well she isn’t the first,” Sam answered derisively.

 

“Why are you doing this?” Victor asked. He should have known it was Sam. Of course it had to be Sam. He had the skills to hack into FBI database and the motive to copy Dean’s MO. And he had always been off.

 

Sam scoffed, “You know why.” He went to get his bag that he had hidden among the debris. “Sorry, but I have to tie you up,” Sam said without an ounce of remorse in his voice as he got the duct tape and walked over to the cuffed fed. “Let’s make it fun, ok?”

 

“You’re sick,” Henriksen muttered as Sam pulled one of his hands over the chair’s arm and proceeded to taping it.

 

 


	3. chapter 11 - 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been some time since I updated this. Have been busy lately so well, here. Last chapters. I only have the epilogue left.
> 
> Please enjoy and thanks for reading.

**Chapter 11**

 

The best way to find their secret admirer was to follow the fed that pursued him. Castiel and Dean weren’t surprised when they found that it was the same agent who was after them. Castiel had winced at the news, remembering his time in jail and the agent’s persistence. Back then, he had been underaged and there had been a limit to what the agent could do but this time they were adults and long-time criminals.

 

They found him at the newest crime scene, looking at the tall tree. Then he walked towards it and pulled something out and rushed for his car a minute later. Dean glanced at Cas. “He’s up to something.”

 

Cas took a peek with the binoculars. They were parked away from all the attention and hiding in an inconspicuous – and ugly as Dean pointed out – car. He saw the man start his engine and Cas signaled to Dean to do same. “Let’s follow him.”

 

Dean nodded and the engine roared to a start. He kept a reasonable distance between them and they were lucky the agent was in a rush or he would have made them. Soon enough the agent pulled over and they did so too.

 

“Hey, Cas. I know this place,” Dean muttered, still trying to remember.

 

Cas looked at the old building and nodded, “It’s that girl’s home. You know the one we got right after you rescued me from jail?”

 

“Huh,” Dean huffed. Yeah, he remembered. They had stalked her from her apartment then they had abducted her and Dean had had quite a lot of fun. Good memories. “Looks like that’s our invitation.”

 

Castiel said nothing for a minute, just sitting quietly and thinking. It could be trapped and they might get into more trouble than they can handle. “Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked softly.

 

Dean turned to Cas then, holding his gaze, “We don’t have to if you don’t like it.”

 

And that was why Cas loved him so much. He would hold back his urges and sacrifice his needs and wants without hesitation if Cas asked him to. So Cas smiled and told himself to trust Dean. Whatever happened, good or bad, they would still have each other. “Let’s go,” he said firmly.

 

They got out of the car and Dean looked up at the sky, frowning. It was covered with heavy grey clouds and the air smelled of rain. It looked like a bad omen or something but he ignored the feeling and they went in, Dean holding Cas’ hand out of habit. In his other hand he had his usual Colt that Cas had given him as a gift some years back for their anniversary. It had their names engraved on it and Dean had thought that it was the sweetest gift he ever received. Even more so that Cas engraved the names himself.

 

It was a little dark inside but their eyes adjusted quickly. They were used to darkness and they eyes might just be able to see better than the average person in the dark. Dean took the lead and Castiel just followed, his own gun in his hand.

 

“Wait,” Dean whispered abruptly as he stopped.

 

Cas bumped into him, a little clumsily but he didn’t back away from the contact. Instead, he let his body where it was – pressed against the comforting warmth of Dean’s back. “What is it?” he whispered back.

 

Dean nodded to the door on their far right. “I hear something,” he said and paced towards it in slow and careful steps.

 

Castiel followed right behind, trusting Dean’s instinct. When they reached the door, Castiel planted himself next to it, flat against the wall. Dean gave Cas a small smile before kicking the door open and bursting in, guns pointed and eyes searching.

 

“Fuck,” Castiel heard Dean said. Frowning and hearing no gunshot, Castiel stepped away from the wall and joined Dean inside.

 

Agent Henriksen was tied up on a chair, a dead girl some feet away and Sam was standing right next to her with a smug face. When he saw Dean, his face brightened and cracked a grin. “Dean!” he exclaimed, clearly happy.

 

“Sam?” Dean asked carefully. Was this man really his brother? Last time he had seen Sam he had been small for his age and this man stood taller than Dean but he had that same sheepish look on his face that Dean would recognize anywhere.

 

All six feet four of Sam pulled Dean into a tight hug. “What the hell, man?” Dean asked still in disbelief.

 

Behind them Castiel came inside the room quietly, giving the brothers a little distance. But Sam saw him and gave him a good look form head to toe. “You. I’m sorry I still don’t know you’re name.” Sam said as he let go of his brother and offered a hand to the shy man.

 

Castiel shifted his gun to his left hand and shook the bigger hand being offered to him. “I’m Castiel,” he said in a deeper voice than Sam expected.

 

“What are you doing here?” Dean asked as he glanced at the agent who glared back at him. “Long time no see,” Dean said to him and the agent would have replied back if his mouth wasn’t being kept shut by duct tape.

 

“I’ve been looking for you,” Sam said enthusiastically.

 

“So you killed all these people?” Dean asked with an angry frown.

 

“ _What?_ You are the last person I would expect to judge me,” Sam snarled. Dean had killed countless and from and even earlier age so why the hell was he reproaching Sam now? He had no right.

 

“You had a good life, Sam. Why would you want to ruin it?” Dean snapped back, remembering how proud he had been when Castiel had told him that Sam was a student at a prestigious college. He had a bright healthy future ahead of him so why would he ruin everything? “Is it because of me? Did you do all this because of me?” Dean asked, raising his voice.

 

It had been a long time since Castiel had heard such intensity from Dean’s voice. He had been calmer these past few years. It was a little scary and a lot exciting when Dean got all frustrated and… he stopped the thought. This wasn’t the time for that. He left the brothers yelling at each other and walked over to the FBI agent.

 

“Agent Henriksen,” Castiel started. The man had aged since the last time he had been in an interview room with him. “You look well. Under the circumstances anyway.”

 

“I’m not seeking your approval, Dean!” Sam bellowed, drawing Castiel’s attention back to the brothers.

 

Victor glanced at the man he had been after for all these years and Dean Winchester was actually telling his brother that killing was bad? It was so ridiculous Victor wasn’t sure what to think. And then there was Dean’s partner in crime. Castiel he had said. It didn’t ring any bell in Victor’s head. But right now all that wasn’t important. He was certainly going to be killed if he didn’t get out of here now. Castiel had his back turned to him and the brothers were a few feet away, arguing. He tugged at the tapes that held him and they gave a little. Taking a deep breath through his nose, Victor slowly pulled and rotated his wrists to stretch the tape and soon he was able to move a little. Just a little more and he would be able to pull his hand free. He hid his nervousness and tried to free himself as discreetly as possible while they were busy fighting.

 

“Then you shouldn’t do this! You think this life is easy? You know nothing! Always having to move, always on the run, always afraid you might get caught!” Dean went on.

 

“But you are happy, aren’t you?” Sam cut in. “You found Castiel and you have each other and you are happy!”

 

Castiel smiled at that, pleased that Sam didn’t seem to resent him for taking his brother away.

 

“It’s too late anyway,” Sam pointed out before Dean could start on another rant.  “I’m already in this shit whether you want it or not.”

 

Dean paced away from Sam, towards the door, trying to think. He turned his back to his brother because he didn’t want Sam to see whatever was on his face. He wasn’t sure if he was happy that Sam was like him or disappointed that Sam threw his perfect life away to be a fugitive.

 

Sam followed a few steps behind him and stared at his brother’s back, waiting for Dean to say something.

 

Behind Castiel Victor finally felt the tape giving a last snap as it broke. He froze, hoping they hadn’t heard it snapped. When they didn’t so much as glance at him, he reached down to his ankle where he always kept a small pocket knife. The knife felt good in his hand and he let out a small sigh of relief. He was never so happy to be armed before. He glanced at the brothers and was glad to see that they all had their back turn to him so he proceeded to cut the rest of the duct tape.

 

He was cutting the last of the tape on his left foot when Castiel chose that moment to turn around.   
Cas didn’t know why he did but he just did, like something caught his attention. He saw the blade in Victor’s hand but he didn’t had time to react as the agent pulled at the last bit of tape that was holding him and grabbed Cas’ front collar, pulling him into the small blade.

 

The blade plunged into Cas’ stomach and for a moment, Cas just froze, confused. The he felt the blood and looking down, he saw the blade’s handle sticking out of him. Then Victor pulled the knife out and Cas felt to the floor, the pain echoing throughout his body.

 

Sam and Dean spun around when they heard the thud of Cas falling and the sight of Castiel down on the floor with a pool of blood quickly forming under him was too much for Dean. His brain stopped working and all he could think of was to kill the asshole who laid a hand on _his_ Cas. He roared furiously and tackled the agent, not caring for the knife that he held.

 

The knife grazed him but Dean was fast and with a kick the knife went flying somewhere. Dean was like a mad beast, not caring for the painful punches that Victor hit him with. He didn’t slow down, he didn’t blinked. He just went straight for Victor’s weak points. Dean hit him in the stomach, bellowing something that didn’t make sense and that might even have been English. His kicks and punches were hard and fast and they rained on Victor without giving him anytime to recover. He felt to the ground, Dean’s foot hitting his head continuously. He brought his arms up, trying to cover his head and lessen the blows but he felt the bones in his arms cracked under the powerful kicks and soon he couldn’t feel much and he knew he was going to die today as the darkness took over.

 

Dean kept hitting the agent, blow after blow and didn’t care that the man had already stopped responding.

 

“Dean!” Sam yelled. He was next to Castiel, a hand pressing on the wound to keep him from bleeding out. “Dean!” he called again when his brother didn’t answer. “We need to get him to a hospital.” Sam took off his shirt and pressed it against the gash. It wasn’t helping much but at least Castiel was still alive.

 

Dean was panting, glaring at the dead agent when he heard his brother’s distant call. He turned to the voice and saw his brother next to the unconscious Cas. “Cas?” he asked softly, still a little confused. There was no way Castiel was going to die. No way he would ever allow this. It was impossible because Cas and he were supposed to live the rest of their lives together.

 

Sam gave Dean a very concerned look. He had never seen his brother lose it before and he reminded himself never to anger him to that point. “He’s still alive but we need to get him to a doctor,” he said with a steady and calm voice.

 

Dean nodded and dropped to his knees next to Cas’ sprawled body. He petted the soft hair then leaned down to kiss the chapped lips lightly. He glanced up at Sam, his face cold and serious. “No hospital.”

 

“But –” Sam started.

 

“Let’s get him in the car,” Dean simply said as he pulled Cas up, muscular arms holding Cas under the arms and Sam took his feet. Together they carried the bleeding man carefully to Dean’s car. Sam sat in the backseat with Cas to keep pressure on the wound while Dean rushed to the driver’s seat and started the engine. He drove faster than he ever had, ignoring the speed limit and not caring about the cops that might come after him. If they tried to stop him, he would just have to kill them because he was not about to let anyone get in the way of saving Castiel.

 

 

 

**Chapter 12**

 

Sam wondered where they were going but he wasn’t about to ask because he feared that the smallest distraction might get them killed at the speed that Dean was driving. But his brother soon slowed down and pulled over in a quiet area behind a tall building. It looked like the delivery zone or something. Sam frowned, not recognizing the area or why the hell they were here.

 

But Dean gave him no explanation. He got out of the car and slammed the door close. Then he walked to Sam’s window and said, “Stay here and keep pressure on that.” Then he was gone, running off somewhere.

 

Sam wasn’t sure what to think but he knew nothing good would happen if Cas were to die. He could see it in his brother’s eyes. He saw fear there, disbelief and determination.

 

Dean had no choice but to trust his brother with Cas and even if he didn’t want to leave Cas’ side right now, he couldn’t do otherwise. He ran towards the huge white building that loomed over him. He ignored the people that glanced at him, he ignored the cars that honked at him as he crossed the street to the parking lot of the hospital. There he found an unattended ambulance. He looked around and when he saw no one looking, he broke open the window and hotwired the vehicle. It roared to life but Dean wasn’t done yet. The most important thing he was missing was a doctor. He left the engine on so that he could make a quick escape once he found a doctor.

 

He jumped out of the vehicle and walked over to the back door of the hospital. There were not many people here thankfully. Then he saw her. A woman in her early thirties, taking a much needed smoking break. She was wearing a doctor’s coat and Dean could see the little tag on her left breast. He glanced around to make sure no one was looking and took out his gun discreetly. He kept it under his jacket and walked to the doctor.

 

“Come with me,” he said dryly and the woman just gave him a baffled look so he flashed the gun, “Don’t scream or you die now.”

 

The woman dropped the cigarette and lifted her hands up, “Please don’t hurt me.”

 

Dean tsked, “Drop your hands and walk slowly.” He pointed her to the ambulance and she did as told.

 

“What do you want?” she asked with a voice thick with fear.

 

“Get in,” Dean ordered when they reached the ambulance, pointing to the driver’s seat.

 

She climbed in and Dean followed, sitting in the passenger seat, his gun steadily pointed at her. “Drive,” Dean said with a brisk tone.

 

She nodded and started the engine and drove with Dean giving her directions. They went got out of the parking lot and onto the main road and soon Dean was directing her to the smaller streets.

 

They reached the back of a building and Dean indicated her to pull over next to a black car. “What now?” she asked as she killed the engine.

 

“Get out,” Dean barked and followed her out. Once they were out, he glared at her and said, “Stay put. When this is over you can go home and forget all this. But do anything stupid and you die.”

 

“Dean?” Sam called out from the car when he saw his brother and the unknown woman.

 

Dean got the stretcher from the back of the ambulance, “Let’s get him in there.”

 

Sam raised his eyebrows. His brother just stole an ambulance and abducted a doctor for his boyfriend. He nodded and together they got Cas onto the stretcher and into the ambulance where Dean pushed the woman into. He pointed this gun at her head and warned, “If he dies, you die too.”

 

The woman swallowed but nodded. She looked down at the handsome but unconscious man. There was a lot of blood loss and probably internal bleeding among other complications. It was going to be difficult to do much with the limited things she had in the ambulance but she had a feeling that pointing this out wasn’t going to help. So she told herself to forget about the gun pointed at her and focused on saving this man’s life. She looked up at the bigger man that seemed a little calmer than her kidnapper, “I need a little help.”

 

Sam nodded, “Sure tell me what you need.” He moved closer and sat across of the doctor.

 

Dean was fidgeting, unable to stay in place as he watched them work on the pale Castiel. This was stupid. Castiel couldn’t die like this. He was like an angel who brought light in Dean’s darkness. He was something out of this world and there was no way a small stab like that could take him down. That couldn’t be.

 

“Shit,” the doctor breathed out.

 

Sam gave her a look and she returned very worried eyes at him. It was a bad move because Dean caught it and understood what the concern meant. He held the scream back and instead grabbed the woman and pulled her closer so that he was snarling in her face, “ _You better save him_.”

 

“He – he is going in cardiac arrest. There’s only so much I can do –” she never finished because Dean finally let out that scream that had been building inside him. He roared and would have killed her right then if Sam didn’t interfere.

 

“Stop, Dean!” his little brother yelled, grabbing the hand that held the poor doctor. “Let her go. He’s not dead yet but she can’t work if you are here.”

 

Dean glared at him and growled.

 

“Stop acting like an animal. Go wait outside,” Sam said, barking the order in his brother’s face. For a moment he wasn’t sure if Dean was going to listen but after a few very tensed seconds, Dean jumped out of the ambulance and into the rain outside.

 

Dean caught one last glimpse of Castiel before Sam closed the door. For a moment Dean just stood there, staring blankly at the closed door. He was quickly drenched as the heavy rain smashed onto him and Dean wasn’t sure if it was tears on his cheeks or just rain. He dropped to his knees and looked up at the grey sky, the raining hitting his eyeballs painfully. He ignored it and screamed again, letting out the dread in his heart. And the rain turned red as if to mimic the pain he felt in his chest. He trailed off as he lost his voice and sobbed quietly, dropping his head in his hands. And for the first time he prayed to whatever deity that existed to save Castiel. He would rather die than lose the only thing that mattered in his life. What was the point of living if he didn’t have his support, his love, his happiness? He wanted to kill the Agent all over again. He wanted to make him suffer just like he was suffering now. But it was useless. It was all pointless. There was nothing left without Cas. Nothing to hold onto. Nothing worth living.

 

 

 

Inside the ambulance, they heard Dean’s scream and the doctor gave Sam a very scared look. “Is he –” she started.

 

Sam offered her a small smile. “What’s your name?” he asked.

 

“Amanda,” she replied. She hated that her voice trembled a little but she probably should cut herself some slack. She was in a stolen ambulance with psychopaths after all.

 

“Don’t worry about him, Amanda. Let’s focus of saving this man, ok?” Sam said softly as he caught her eyes in his.

 

She nodded, even though what she wanted to do most was scream and run. She exhaled a long loud breath and got into doctor-mode once more. “Ok, I can do this,” she told herself.

 

Sam smiled and hoped to hell she could because otherwise she was dead and then who knows on who Dean would take out his rage.

 

 

 

**Chapter 13**

 

An eternity later, Sam opened the door of the ambulance and Dean jumped to his feet, rushing to Sam and holding onto the front of his button down shirt. “How’s he?” he asked, his voice raw and rough from all the screaming from earlier.

 

Sam pulled at the hands that held his clothes, “He’s fine.”

 

Dean’s breath trembled a little, his eyes still as wide. “Is he? Really?”

 

Sam gave Dean a reassuring smile, “He’s stable. You found a good doctor. His heart stopped twice but he’s good now.”

 

Dean didn’t need to hear more than that. He dashed past his brother and jumped into the ambulance, nearly falling in his rush. He dropped to his knees next to the stretcher where Cas was. He looked much paler than usual, his lips dryer than usual and he was cold, but Dean could hear him breathe. He took one cold hand in his and held it against his chest. “Don’t scare me like that,” he whispered.

 

“He’s stable but he will need antibiotics and painkillers,” Amanda said softly next to Dean.

 

And Dean turned to her, having completely forgotten she was here. “We’ll manage. You should leave now. And tell them I killed the asshole that did this.”

 

Her eyes widened and she nodded too quickly, already getting to her feet. She ran outside and froze when she saw Sam. he was just standing there, relaxed and watching. “He – he said I could leave,” she said.

 

Sam raised one eyebrow at that, surprised that Dean would let her go. But well, she did save Dean’s soulmate’s life. But if they let go now she would call for help and the feds would be on them before they could run. Dean was in no state to drive or even to think it seemed. It was up to Sam to ensure they didn’t get caught. Sam took an easy step towards her and she stepped back. “I’m not going to hurt you,” Sam said softly, a small innocent smiling playing on his lips.

 

He looked harmless with his puppy eyes but Amanda had a feeling he was just as dangerous as the other man and the way he was closing in on her step by step made her feel like a prey to a gigantic predator. “I’m – I’m just leaving. I won’t call the cops, I swear.” She said as she backtracked slowly.

 

She was trapped between the ambulance and the looming Sam when Dean came out of the ambulance and frowned at her. Then he turned his gaze to his brother, “Why is she still here?” he asked.

 

Sam kept his gaze on Amanda and shrugged.

 

“I’m leaving!” she screeched and bolted away.

 

Sam watched her run for a second before turning to his brother, “Are you sure about this? The cops will be on us anytime now.”

 

Dean nodded, “That’s why we should get out of here now. Help me get Cas into the car.”

 

They moved him very carefully and before leaving Dean raided the ambulance’s drug stash and took all the antibiotics and painkillers he found. Then he joined Sam in the car and drove away just as the sirens started in the distance.

 

 

 

They stopped at a motel because Cas needed the comfort of a bed and home was at least a day away. He was still unconscious when they laid him on the bed. Dean stayed close, sitting on the edge of the bed, talking softly to Cas and Sam went out to buy some food.

 

He was kind of surprised that Dean hadn’t blamed him for what had happened in that old building. It was his fault after all since he was the one who abducted Victor and led them here. He would have understood if his brother refused to talk to him ever again or even tried to kill him. But Dean had done none of these. He had been rather quiet and lost in thoughts and Sam knew better than to disturb him. He preferred to be out of the small motel room and away from the overdose of emotions in there. Seriously, he didn’t understand love, not the way his brother seemed to feel for Castiel. He did love his brother, that much he knew but not like that. Not with that kind of devotion and obsession. It was a foreign concept to him although he knew many who felt that way for others. He was probably more of a sociopath than his brother would ever be and the thought made him smile.

 

Back at the motel room, Dean lied next to Castiel, cradling him lightly to share his warmth. He placed a soft kiss on the cold cheeks and sighed. He had nearly lost him. But his angel was still here. Still breathing.

 

 

 

Castiel was floating above the clouds, feeling a little dizzy and unreal. He looked around and all he could see was white fluff. It was cold and he hugged himself, noticing that he was naked. Then he felt the pain in his abdomen. He grimaced and touched the sensitive area but there was nothing there so he ignored it and wandered around. He heard Dean’s comforting voice from somewhere in the distance and he tried to locate it but it seemed to be coming from nowhere and everywhere. And suddenly he felt a warmth next to him. He spun around but there was no one there.

 

He woke up in pain but the instant he regained consciousness he recognized that warmth next to him. “Dean?” he gasped through the sharp throbbing pain in his abdomen.

 

“Castiel,” Dean whispered and held back the excitement that threatened to burst out. “I’m here. Don’t get up,” Dean added when Cas tried to sit up.

 

Cas leaned back and turned his head to the soft voice next to him. Dean stared back at him, his eyes a little teary, his lips trembling lightly. It felt good to see him again and it filled Cas with a warm fuzzy feeling. “I was in the clouds,” Cas whispered then he coughed lightly, his throat dry.

 

Dean got up then, reluctantly leaving Cas’ side for even a second. He got a glass of water and grabbed a straw. “Here, drink,” he said as he offered the glass to Cas.

 

Cas took a sip and everything hurt but his mouth was less dry now. He licked his lips and smiled at Dean, “What happened?”

 

Dean sat back on the bed, holding Cas’ hand in his. “That fed stabbed you. I killed him. But you’re ok now.”

 

Castiel frowned, vaguely remembering what had happened. “Sam?” he asked as he remembered that Dean’s brother had been there too. “You – you didn’t kill him –” Cas wondered with a little fear in his voice. Dean could get unpredictable at times.

 

Dean snorted, “No. Of course not. He’s out there buying food.”

 

“Oh,” Castiel said, a little relieved that Dean hadn’t done anything he could regret later. “Where are we?”

 

“Motel. You need some rest. When you feel better we will go home.”

 

“The feds will be after us more than ever now that we killed one of their best,” Castiel pointed out. “We should get out of here as soon as possible. I don’t think it’s even safe to go home at this point.”

 

“Ok,” Dean answered, knowing Cas was right. “I’ll start packing. We’ll leave as soon as Sam’s back. You just rest in the meantime.”

 

Castiel nodded and let himself relaxed. He watched Dean going around the room, grabbing pieces of clothing here and there before disappearing into the bathroom.

 

Sam came back then, and smiled at Cas when he saw him awake. “You ok?” he asked.

 

“Could be better,” Cas replied back.

 

Sam looked around, noted that clothes had been stuffed into bags that had been carelessly dropped by the bed. “I guess we are leaving?”

 

“Yep, get ready,” Dean said as he stepped out of the bathroom. “We’re going to make a quick drop home to get a few stuffs before we can start all over again.”

 

They left soon after, Sam driving because Dean wanted to be at the back with Cas. Cas rested his head on the strong shoulders next to him and dozed off from all the meds he had to take.

 

“How far?” Sam asked after a few hours of driving.

 

“Shut up and keep driving,” Dean snapped back and Sam rolled his eyes. He was starting to think his brother was the really bossy kind and that maybe only Castiel was able to reason with him.

 

A few more hours later Dean told Sam to pull over into a normal driveway. It was a nice neighborhood where you wouldn’t expect your neighbors to be serial killers. He got out of the car and helped Dean carry Cas inside.

 

“I can walk,” Cas complained, his arms around Dean and Sam as they easily dragged him inside and ignored his complains.

 

“Nice house,” Sam commented once Cas was on the bed.

 

“Don’t get too comfy because we are leaving soon,” Dean warned before he walked off to get some change of clothes and the guns that they kept hidden in the basement. They also had fake passports and driving licenses. He grabbed the bag full of cash, enough to start other. Then he ran back to the bedroom where Cas was. “Where’s Sam?” he asked when he didn’t see the huge man.

 

Cas pointed to the bathroom, “He said he wanted a shower before we leave.”

 

Dean nodded and sat on the bed, close to Cas. “How are you feeling?” he asked.

 

Cas smiled, a small almost shy smile. “I’m ok. Thank you for saving me.”

 

Dean pulled him in a soft hug then he let go to place a chaste kiss on those chapped lips. “Don’t give me a scare like that ever again.”

 

Castiel chucked, “I won’t.” He leaned a little, ignored the protesting pain and kissed Dean – a deep but slow kiss.

 

“You’re making me hard,” Dean breathed out after a while as he pulled from the kiss.

 

“No time for that, Dean,” Cas whispered back. “Besides, Sam’s here.”

 

Dean growled but he knew Cas was right. Like always. So he stood up and went to bang on the bathroom door. “We’re leaving, Sam.”

 

A few seconds later Sam stepped out, his hair wet from the shower. “You look like a wet moose,” Dean pointed out but Sam ignored him. It has been many years since Sam and Dean had been together, back when their parents were still married but he remembered the way Dean liked to tease him and knew the best way to deal with it was to ignore him. It had been a hard thing to do when they were kids but they were both adults now.

 

“Shall we go?” Sam asked as he pulled a shirt over his head.

 

Dean grabbed the bags and helped Cas up. “Let’s go,” he said and they left, Castiel taking one last look at the house he had grown to love over the past year. They had lost the house but they had gained Sam instead. So all in all, it wasn’t all that bad, right?

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter. Glad this is done. Hope you enjoyed Dean and Castiel's journey :)

**Epilogue**

 

Castiel sighed at the nice warm bubble bath he was in. It felt good to just relax and soak.

 

“Loving it?” Dean asked with a grin.

 

Castiel opened his tired eyes to peek to him. Dean was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, his shirt off. He handed him a glass of wine and Cas gratefully took it. He took a small sip, enjoying the rich taste. “Where’d you get that? It’s good.”

 

“That’s a secret,” Dean replied with a wink.

 

“Hmm, special wine. For what occasion?” Cas asked, taking another sip.

 

Dean leaned closer and took a taste of the wine on Cas’ lips. “Happy anniversary,” Dean breathed into the kiss.

 

Castiel jumped at that, nearly making Dean fall into the bathtub. “What? You mean it’s already this time of the year?” Panicking a little now, Castiel continued, “I can’t believe I forgot. I need to get you something. I need to –”

 

Dean shut him up by pulling him in another kiss, pushing his tongue inside Cas’ mouth, running it along Cas’ tongue and biting the chapped lips softly.

 

“Hmm,” Cas moaned, “Dean.” He forgot the wine and the glass fell on the tile floor, breaking in a loud crash that they both ignored as Cas pulled Dean closer and deeper in the kiss.

 

Dean held onto the tub’s edge but it was slippery and Cas kept pulling him. It wasn’t surprising when he felt into the tub on top of Cas. “Shit,” Dean said with a grin.

 

Cas chuckled, threw his legs around Dean’s ass and pulled him closer. “Tub’s big enough for both of us,” he whispered.

 

“You’re killing me,” Dean whispered back because seriously there was nothing more arousing than seeing little beads of water all over Cas except maybe the look Cas was giving him right now.

 

Cas moaned when Dean licked his neck in one long line but Dean stopped abruptly and coughed. “Bitter,” he growled at the taste of soap. “What did you put in this water?”

 

Cas chuckled and put his arms around Dean’s neck, “Let’s get on the bed then.”

 

“We’ll get it wet,” Dean replied but he was already getting up and pulling Cas to his feet.

 

“It’s ok, we can sleep in the guest room tonight,” Cas mumbled. He didn’t care what happened to their bed, he just wanted Dean now.

 

They stumbled awkwardly into the adjoining bedroom and Cas dropped onto the bed, pulling Dean with him. Castiel paused, face suddenly very serious as he looked into Dean’s eyes, “I love you.”

 

Dean’s smile softened and he kissed the mouth that had just said those precious few words. “I love you too,” he whispered back. And in his head he thanked whatever deity that had saved Cas and allowed them this life.

 

It had been over a year already since Cas’ heart stopped twice in that ambulance and Dean had felt like his heart was being ripped out. There were times when the scar itched but otherwise he was fully healed. They had been on the road for a long time after that because the whole country was on the lookout for them when they found the dead agent. But they managed to escape the state and kept driving from state to state, stopping at motels for rest. Sam had proved to be a very cunning asset that could easily predict what the feds were up to and where they were going to be next.

 

Despite all the running they had still found time to kill the occasional unlucky person here and there. From time to time all three killed together but it was rather intense when they did and the brothers sometimes lost control. Castiel could always bring Dean back to his senses but when Sam was here as well, it was much harder. So Sam mostly killed on his own when he wanted and they reserved their trilogy for special occasions.

 

They were now settled into a country house with the nearest neighbor miles away. Dean liked the privacy it offered and he and Cas would often cuddle on the balcony while Sam would be away for days, killing someone somewhere. But Sam always came back home eventually, looking refreshed and a tad merrier.

 

“What are you thinking of?” Castiel asked softly.

 

Dean grinned, “Just that I’m happy to have you.”

 

Castiel grinned back, “Well enough with all that mushy talking. Just fuck me already.”

 

“Happy to oblige,” Dean chuckled and proceeded to do just that.

 

 

 

An annoying constant buzz woke Cas up and he groaned as he realized it was the phone. He tried to move but he was tangled with the sheets and Dean’s heavy arm and leg pinned him down. He pushed the arm away and hit the sleeping man. “Phone,” he grunted to Dean.

 

Dean moaned and twisted around a little, tangling the sheets even more. Cas sighed and gave up trying to untangle the mess. Instead he reached over to where his jeans were and found the phone in the back pocket.

 

“Yes?” he groaned into the phone, knowing it would be Sam because it was the only person who had this number.

 

“Cas, didn’t wake you, did I?” Sam asked cheerfully.

 

“You know damn well you did,” Cas replied and could imagine Sam’s evil grin. “What is it?”

 

“So, last night was fun, huh?”

 

“What? Why are you asking?” Cas wondered.

 

“C’mon, it was your anniversary yesterday, wasn’t it? Which is why I got out of the way.”

 

Castiel frowned and next to him Dean was getting up, peeking slightly. “How do you even know that?”

 

“Nevermind that. I have a gift for you guys if you would just please get up and come here. I’m texting you the address now,” Sam said before he hung up.

 

Cas just stared at the phone as if it might grow arms and legs or something. Dean scowled at him, “What happened?” he asked.

 

“I’m not sure. He said he will send us an address –” Cas stopped when the phone buzzed in his hand, indicating a message. He showed it to Dean who shrugged.

 

“It’s an hour’s drive from here. Better be worth it,” Dean grunted but he got up and walked briskly to the shower.

 

Castiel furrowed his brow because Dean had just walked away from the tangled sheets so effortlessly while Cas was still trying to get out of it. “I hate you,” he yelled to Dean but Dean ignored him and disappeared into the bathroom.

 

An hour later they were both in the car and driving to Sam’s mysterious location. They had taken longer than they meant to because, well, shower sex was always something neither of them could resist.

 

“What took you so long,” Sam grunted when they arrived at the destination. It was a rather ordinary country house, not unlike their own.

 

“Why are we here, Sammy?” Dean asked as he glared at the house.

 

Castiel titled his head to the side like he usually did when he was thinking. “Is it what I think it is?” he asked.

 

Sam grinned at him and said, “Let’s go inside and I’ll show you.”

 

So they followed Sam inside and it didn’t look as bad as it did on the outside. Sam led the way to the basement, getting down the narrow stairs one after the other. Castiel was right behind Sam when he stopped and raised his eyebrows at what he saw.

 

Dean was just behind and he bumped into Cas. “What is it?” he asked as he looked around and then saw the two girls chained to the wall. Dean whistled, “Nice.” They looked pretty and young – just the way he liked them.

 

“Well, happy birthday,” Sam said and gave Dean and Cas a quick group hug.

 

“Thanks, Sam,” Cas said a little awkwardly. He was impressed Sam got them actual identical twins. They were sobbing quietly, their mouth gagged.

 

Sam gave Cas an encouraging push towards the girls, “Have fun.”

 

“Are you not going to join us?” Cas asked, titling his head to one side, eyes squinting lightly.

 

“C’mon, Sammy. You know it’s more fun when you join us,” Dean added.

 

Sam grinned because he had been hoping that they would invite him. “Hell yeah, I know,” he said and he took the lead, reaching for one of the twins.

 

The girls cried a louder now, struggling against the chains that held them. Sam gave the one he was holding a lick on the cheek and she trembled, almost pissing herself because she could tell from the crazed hungry look of the three men in front of her that things were just about to get much worst.

 

“This is going to be so much fun,” Dean said before he pulled Cas into a quick kiss then joined his brother.

 

**Author's Note:**

> No animals were harm during the making of this story - in fact, it pained me a lot to have them killed because I'm an animal lover :(


End file.
